Child Abuse and Mental Health Survivors Information - Issue #148
Laughing at celebs who'll never see it, but your friends do.
This happened a few weeks ago, and I meant to write about it, but time has gotten away from me this summer. It involves Pedro Pascal's appearance at ComicCon with his co-star, Vanessa Kirby.
Tiktok failed to load.Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser
Thank you for reading the Child Abuse and Mental Health Survivors newsletter. Each week, I share new blog posts and other resources that aim to help survivors of childhood abuse and those who are struggling with mental health issues feel less alone as we discuss the issues surrounding our issues.
For more information about me and why this newsletter exists, visit the website - Child Abuse Survivor.
In the video above, Pedro, who suffers from intense anxiety, lightly touches Vanessa's shoulder, and Vanessa takes his hand. You can see the grounding effect that has on him immediately. (I have had my own experience with a friend in a very stressful situation reaching out instinctively for me to hold her hand; it’s grounding.)
Of course, social media couldn’t leave it at that. There needed to be all kinds of allegations about him being a creeper, doing it for attention, or even as an excuse to touch a beautiful woman.
I’m sure you all had a good time with it, and there’s almost zero chance Pedro will ever see any of it.
But, as we’ve repeatedly pointed out, your buddies saw it. And they now know that you, and everyone who laughed at your joke, are not safe people to come to with mental health issues. So they don’t, and you go through life convinced that no one you know has any mental health issues.
They remain the silent men who never ask for help, get support, or get better. They’ll never ask for a hand from one of their friends of any gender because they saw what happened when someone did.
And we wonder why men stay silent.
New from the Blogs
Sharing - Finding a therapist who takes your insurance can be nearly impossible. Here's why
It's not easy being a therapist. It's not easy treating patients and dealing with their peculiarities. Now, add dealing with insurance companies whose primary goal seems to be to pay the least amount possible for mental healthcare, and it makes sense to me why so many therapists drop out of insurance networks.
Sharing - Friendship and mental health
What I appreciate most is that in putting this together, they recognize the importance of support and connection from the people in our lives every day instead of just telling people to go to therapy and not worry about the strength of their relationships. We've spent far too long avoiding talking directly about mental health because even saying you have a therapist is considered taboo.
Before you start blogging about mental health, I want you to consider what works for you. Then do that. If it's writing through the hard times and sharing those intimate details, that's great. If you're not comfortable doing it that way, do something else.
I love hearing more voices talking about mental health and seeing more stories and lived experiences shared. What I love more is people caring for themselves and doing what is good for their mental health.
Sharing - Are We or Are We Not in a Youth Mental Health Crisis?
Is it a crisis that has teens struggling with mental health more recently, or is it some combination of cultural factors and more willingness to talk about mental health?
Shared from Elsewhere
In the last newsletter, I shared links related to kids returning to school and mental health. Add this to the list - Educate yourself to support children this school year.
This is an exciting piece because we have to do something to create more resources for people who need mental health support, and we aren’t going to magically create 10,000 more therapists next month. - Opinion: Group therapy can improve mental health care access. On the other hand, I know first-hand what a poor experience in a group can be when the group is not a good fit for you, so let’s keep working on other resources, too!
Many of us know this all too well. - Living in the Shadows of the Past: The Lingering Effects of Childhood Trauma.
Also, these -
Childhood Trauma Shapes an Under- or Over-Active Inner World.
Childhood emotional abuse and neglect linked to frequent disturbed dreams in young adults
We hear the word often enough. We should understand it. - Understanding Clinical Depression: Common Symptoms and Treatment.
This is my fear. It’s entirely possible that we’ll ban the thing that keeps some kids connected to a supportive community. - Social media bans could magnify mental health challenges for teens.
Grieving is hard. What can you do to help? - Grieving the dead is complicated. Here's how you can help someone experiencing loss.
From the Archives
In short, who are you without the abuse? No one knows because it’s up to you to become who you want to be. The abuse will always be part of us; it’s shaped who we are, and as much as we can heal and overcome that, we can never completely rid ourselves of its influence.
Sometimes, It Takes a Root Canal
So yeah, it’s a process. But in the end, the process is both what I need to do in order to get the help I need, and necessary because the alternative of not dealing with it is untenable.
Sounds an awful lot dealing with abuse and mental health problems, doesn’t it?
Cancel Culture Exists Online, It’s Just Not What You’re Expecting
Seriously. I’ve written about being a survivor of child abuse and tried to educate people about child abuse and mental health for 19 years. Yet, I spend parts of every week with random people online claiming that I’m somehow pro-pedophile because I don’t share their outrage over false information and conspiracy theories or anti-children because I refuse to ask readers to donate money to people I don’t personally know and can’t verify.
It’s enough to make you just give it all up and walk away.
Thanks for reading. If you find this newsletter informative and helpful, spread the word. That’s the best way to say thank you for my weekly effort.