Revue newsletter for Child Abuse Survivor - Issue #35
New From the Blogs
Quick Thought #19 - Loneliness and Toxic Positivity — www.childabusesurvivor.net I don't think that's it. Not completely anyway. I think the real damage social media has done is to make toxic positivity popular. For every person celebrating their "good vibes only" lifestyle, there are at least 2-3 people who have lost a friend because they've been cut out by someone unwilling to be with them in their pain. After all, if the goal is to eliminate all the negative people in your life, where do people go when they are in pain, grieving, or simply need support? Nothing makes you lonelier than having no one to turn to during those times, and, increasingly, the message we are getting is to aspire to be that uncaring towards people in need.
Sharing - Don’t insist on being positive – allowing negative emotions has much to teach us — www.childabusesurvivor.net The article goes on to discuss the various ways those emotions we are trying to avoid by always being positive are actually good for us. How sitting with and processing those emotions help us learn and grow. Of course, the one thing I will say about that is this. Be prepared to do that work alone, or very nearly alone. The world is full of people who are not comfortable with their pain, sadness, grief, etc., and refuse to do anything but "be grateful." They also have zero tolerance for other people "bringing them down" with their own emotions. These people are not capable of being a support to anyone else. The refusal to acknowledge the entirety of human emotion makes them utterly incapable of sitting with someone in their pain. Sadly, as these ideas have gained popularity, they have also limited our support networks. They have created a shortage of people who will sit with us.
Sharing - Sexual abuse: Why young males are often invisible victims — www.childabusesurvivor.net I grew up in a world where having my friends and other parents think I was gay seemed worse than just continuing to be abused. Think about that for a minute. Think about what we tell boys about being a man and how society reacts to men who share that they were sexually abused as a child? Is there anything about it that screams "Tell your story. We support you!". There are some small pockets of that online and in certain circles, but it's going to also come with a lot of questions about why you didn't fight, how you're destined to now be an abuser, that you enjoyed it, etc. Female victims of almost all ages will get asked about what they were wearing, how much they drank, etc. That's wrong. Male victims will get out own set of questions, mostly about why we didn't fight, why we were so weak, are we gay? That's equally as wrong.
Shared From Elsewhere
How to Self-Mother When You Dread Mother’s Day From Trauma | The Mighty — themighty.com Maya Lorde explains what helps her get through Mother's Day with a mother who was one of her abusers.
Nearly half of LGBTQ youth seriously considered suicide, survey finds : NPR A survey found rising rates of suicidal thought, as well as significant disparities among trans youth and LGBTQ youth of color.
New Data On Youth Mental Health Is Here ― And It's Not Good | HuffPost Life — www.huffpost.com A new report highlights just how urgent the problem is and what needs to be done.
Employers Play a Role in Building Strong Foundations, Preventing Child Abuse | Family Forward NC — familyforwardnc.com April is Child Abuse Prevention Month, and this year’s theme is “growing better together, we CAN prevent child abuse, North Carolina.” We all have a stake in…
How To Heal From Childhood Trauma | Enhance — enhancehealthgroup.com Childhood trauma can create lasting impacts into adult life. Neglect, abuse, and household dysfunction can lead to mental and physical health issues.
From the Archives
One Day, One Thing, At a Time — www.childabusesurvivor.net So, how are we holding up after a month or more in COVID19 related lock-down? Clearly, it's tough all the way around. I'm not going to sugar coat any of
Link - The Wrong Way to Keep Kids Safe From Predators — www.childabusesurvivor.net Sadly, this is true: Now that I have a kid, I’ve noticed that most parents think like this. They believe children are safe only when they are in the care of adults, in part because kids have to be protected from would-be pedophiles and abductors. But as a psychologist with an expertise in child abuse,...
Link - Two child sex offenders explain how they picked their targets — www.childabusesurvivor.net Lots of good information in this article, about how they weren’t who you would suspect, they worked to gain the trust of a child by minimizing the other adults in their lives, especially their parents, and used technology to communicate because parents weren’t savvy enough to keep track of how their kids used technology. I’m...
What We Wish Parents Understood — www.childabusesurvivor.net I'm sure many of you have seen this article floating around. I've even linked to it on the Facebook page, but I wanted to make sure everyone saw it here