Revue newsletter for Child Abuse Survivor - Issue #30
New from the Blogs
Sharing - Why The Age You Experienced Trauma Matters — www.childabusesurvivor.net When we talk about the effects of child abuse and other childhood traumas that last well into adulthood, this is what we are talking about. The normal development cycle was simply disrupted and we now must play catch-up. It's not impossible to learn and develop even as an adult, but first we need to stop blaming ourselves for both the trauma, and the effects of the trauma. We need to be open to learning new tools without judging ourselves for not already knowing how to fix ourselves. If it were that easy, everyone would do it. Clearly that isn't happening.
Sharing - Music Is Just as Powerful at Improving Mental Health as Exercise, Review Suggests — www.childabusesurvivor.net I have noticed that playing music around our house definitely raises my spirits in a similar way as exercise, so it's nice to know that researchers are looking into some other options for helping our mental health above and beyond "get more exercise". What I like more though, is a research article that contains this common-sense reminder about how we are all different:
Sharing - Getting Real About the Therapist Shortage — www.childabusesurvivor.net As she puts it, there's a shortage of therapists in general, a shortage of therapists that take insurance, and a shortage of therapists with specialized training. None of that will change without significant changes to the mental health system, and even if it did, we still wouldn't have enough therapists, especially in rural areas.
Shared from Elsewhere
Working Late Into the Night? It Could Be Harming Your Mental Health | Inc.com — www.inc.com With a lack of sleep having ties to depression, ask yourself if getting ahead on that project is really worth it.
What Does Disassociation Feel Like? | Psych Central — psychcentral.com Disassociation can be characterized as a "disconnection" from reality and may be a symptom of a mental health condition or self-protection from trauma.
If we all talked about suicide, wouldn’t that be better for everyone? | Xavier Mulenga | The Guardian The more comfortable we feel talking about suicide and self-harm, the easier it will be to detect when someone is in distress
I Just Unfollowed Hundreds of People on Social Media – Here's Why You Should, Too - Clean Rebellion — cleanrebellion.com I’m still able to see pictures of my friends and family, but without all the negatives of having social media, which is a win-win.
How Medical Trauma and Chronic Illness Trigger My Childhood Trauma | The Mighty — themighty.com A person with chronic illness shares how the childhood trauma they experienced is triggered at doctor's appointments, and explains how they manage it.
From the Archives
Link - Why Adult Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse Don't Disclose — www.childabusesurvivor.net I found this section of the article below to be especially important for survivors to know. “The secret of child sexual abuse is especially shaming. It can make you feel like there is something seriously wrong with you; that you are inferior or worthless. You want to hide for fear of your secret being exposed....
When Anxiety is the Norm - Right Now — www.childabusesurvivor.net Hey guess what? Feeling anxious right now is probably the healthiest and most normal response to what is happening around us that you've ever had. ;-)
Sharing - ‘They Aren’t Who You Think They Are’ If nothing else, I hope you'll go read the article for two reasons. One, to recognize how difficult it can be to come forward, and have leaders dismiss your claims, so that you know how not to run any organizations that you and your kids are involved with, and two, to recognize how certain cultural values create a space for abusers. Churches rely on charismatic leaders, but without proper safeguards and oversight, you'll attract some very charismatic evildoers too. Also, understand that environments with such a strong focus on sexual purity, create a culture where kids are desperate to not do the "worst thing" and are susceptible to this kind of grooming, not to mention a lot of shame around a very natural subject. That shame only increases the secrecy around sex, and again creates a place where secrets can thrive. DO NOT BE A PLACE WHERE SECRETS THRIVE!
The Importance of Just Listening — www.childabusesurvivor.net The people who helped me, and continue to help me, are the ones who will ask me questions and then just listen. They want to hear my story, even though they can't fix it. They know that they can help by just giving me a space to tell my story, without worrying about the need to fight off their attempts at fixing something that may or may not be relevant at all to my situation. (i.e. I'm glad your cousin felt better after a walk in the forest, but that's not what is happening here!) So please, just listen. Make the space around you, even if it's virtual, a safe space for your friends and loved ones to tell their stories. Find small ways to help, if you can, but also know that by just listening, just sitting with our stories, you are already helping so much.