Revue newsletter for Child Abuse Survivor - Issue #23
Have a great weekend, and if something in this newsletter helps you, be sure and share it with a friend!
New from the Blogs
Sharing - When Childhood Trauma Leads to Anxiety — www.childabusesurvivor.net When you grow up constantly on the lookout for the "next" danger that was coming your way, or constantly worried about your own safety as a result of other people's moods and actions, that doesn't just stop when you become an adult. And, when you cannot turn it off, that can easily roll right into an anxiety issue. And, I can also tell you firsthand that even when you do the therapy and some of the other suggestions from the article below, it can come back during especially stressful times. Like now. So, if this describes you, you're not alone.
Sharing - Don’t Touch Me: Unwanted Affection Causes Stress — www.childabusesurvivor.net Turns out, we're all a lot more complicated. If you read the rest of the article, what you'll see is that none of this is simple, not only is there the line between wanted and unwanted affection, there's also a point where we've simply had enough and don't want more, and that line is not going to be the same for everyone. All of this leads me to believe that the best way to navigate this in romantic relationships, or just with family and friends, is to communicate openly about what we want and don't want. Believe it or not, abuse survivors, you can do that. You can create your own boundaries, and ask for what you want in any relationship. It just takes some time to learn how.
Sharing - Self-help resources can encourage victim-blaming of individuals with depression, study finds — www.childabusesurvivor.net There's no language in this belief system for "some other person decided to hurt you for no reason at all and it had nothing to do with you". There can't be any language for that, because the entire system is self-centered. The world isn't. So please stop telling people who have suffered real harm that it's all just lessons to learn, that simply excuses away harmful behavior, provides overly simple "fixes" for mental health issues, and places the blame for it square on the victim. That's no way to support anyone.
Sharing - How To Tell If Your Parent is Suffering from Depression — www.childabusesurvivor.net As pointed out later in the article below, the second-highest rate of suicide belongs to elderly white men. We have created a stereotype of the "grumpy old man" in our society. We've even made movies out of it. But don't let that fool you, that grumpiness or the other moods we assume are just part of getting older, might not be that at all.
Shared from Elsewhere
No, Trauma Survivors Don't Always Need to Forgive | Psychology Today — www.psychologytoday.com They do need to do whatever makes them most at peace.
Ohio Health Policy News: Study: Many who attempted suicide can’t find mental health care A new study has found that although suicide attempts in the United States have increased substantially over the last decade, the number of people who had recently attempted suicide and said they were not receiving mental health services has remained...
The Mental Health Troubles of Middle-Aged Men | Psychology Today — www.psychologytoday.com An exploration of male mid-life mental health, and the need for better supports.
The Keys to Successful Recovery From Childhood Trauma | Psychology Today — www.psychologytoday.com What recovery from trauma does—and does not—include.
Black Pioneers in Mental Health | Mental Health America — www.mhanational.org Black Americans' contributions to the field of mental health have been long overlooked. Check out these trailblazers in the mental health field.
From the Archives
Link - Why kids are so good at keeping abuse a secret — www.childabusesurvivor.net I wish we could get people to understand this fact, and the myriad reasons for it given in the article below. “When you look at sexual abuse, period — in adults and kids — delayed disclosure is the norm,” Kristen Houser, spokeswoman for the National Sexual Violence Resource Center, tells Yahoo Lifestyle. “But this is more so...
Sharing - Don’t Just Post About Supporting Those With Depression, Support Them — www.childabusesurvivor.net John ends his post with an important message, one that I echo for sure because his story is something I've heard too many times. He talks about "reaching out" to people only to be dismissed. Being told "Oh you're strong, you'll get through this", or that it's not that serious, and then the struggle to reach out to a hotline or for professional help and be met with some short term strategies, and lack of available resources, etc. is how you "support" depression without really supporting the person in front of you dealing with depression. Just the other day I saw someone close to me talking about spending 45 minutes just trying to figure out how to set up an appointment with a therapist through the app her insurance has set up for her through her employer, before finally giving up. This is why we need reminders like this for the people we know, and why we need to remind the entire mental health care industry of this as well.
Why Public Speaking Skills Could Help Us with Tough Conversations — www.childabusesurvivor.net Last night, during the #Sexabusechat on Twitter the topic was on disclosing, the fear, the struggle, and the results. Obviously, that's a huge subject
Sharing - Others Have it Worse — www.childabusesurvivor.net I think there maybe a couple of reasons why we fall into this. Al mentions one of the big ones, this becomes a way to avoid really facing our own issues. Since our issues are "not as bad" as someone else we can point to, this becomes our excuse to simply accept them instead of trying to work on ourselves and do the hard work of healing. Similarly, I also think this is an example where so many of us don't see ourselves as worthy of getting better. Our issues aren't as bad, so we don't really deserve to get treatment, or get support, or even admit that we need it. The truth, though, is that everyone is worth being supported and getting help when necessary. There is no one in this world who has never needed any support, no matter what kinds of trauma and struggles they are having, or how bad someone else might have it.