Revue newsletter for Child Abuse Survivor - Issue #16
New Stuff From the Blogs
Grief is Hard, and Long — www.childabusesurvivor.net Something else interests me about grief though and that is the grief that child abuse survivors have because it's complicated. We aren't grieving a person we've lost, we're grieving something we never had. A safe, happy childhood or a loving parental relationship that didn't exist. The lack of any kind of family bonds as an adult, or the inability to trust anyone. Those are things we can, and should, grieve. Often we aren't given the chance to do that. Other people expect us to "put it behind us" because it was a long time ago. We may even convince ourselves that the best option is to suck it up and forget it, no reason to think about any of that. But, I think there's a reason to grieve the things we didn't have as children. They are very real losses. They have very real impacts on our brains and our emotional well-being. We can't change it now, but we can allow ourselves the freedom to feel grief over it. It's part of the process.
Sharing - Texas parents must now sign-off on child abuse, dating violence education — www.childabusesurvivor.net I’m afraid that I have the same concerns about this change in Texas law. “School districts in Texas are now required to teach students about dating violence, family violence, child abuse and sex trafficking after a new law went into effect in early December. But advocates are concerned that a last-minute change to the law’s...
Sharing - The impact of Facebook and Instagram on teens isn't so clear — www.childabusesurvivor.net In the end, here's the thing. You, and your kids, are not a study. You are all individuals, who may be negatively impacted by social media, or not. You may need to consider not using it, you may need to consider changing up who you're following to get stuff that is good for your mental health into your feeds, or you may be perfectly fine using it the way you are. It might even be helping you and having a positive impact on your lives. Only you can truly judge that. If it's harming you, I hope you'll consider making changes. Follow the social media accounts for this blog if you want to start getting more information like this, or just stop using it altogether. If it's helping you feel supported and less alone in the world, then enjoy that and I hope you'll continue to share that within your social media circles. As I have said many times - do what works for you.
Shared from Others
Why I Follow Mental Health Advocates on Instagram | YoungMinds — www.youngminds.org.uk Struggling with your mental health can feel isolating. Sophie, 23, shares how following mental health advocates on social media helps her feel less alone.
Watch a webinar for parents on child mental health — www.walkinmyshoes.ie Walk in My Shoes held a webinar with mental health experts and parenting organisations on supporting children's wellbeing.
The 22 best podcasts to help you process the end of 2021 — mashable.com Podcasts tackling burn out, pandemic fog, COVID-19, the Capitol riot, racial trauma, and mental health offer support through comedy, storytelling, meditation, history, and investigative reporting.
Which books could help your mental wellbeing during the holidays? – How To Be… — howtobe247.com https://youtu.be/LXyMUAQl6oY Series of mental health-related books The Christmas season can be difficult, but understanding issues such as depression, anxiety, burnout and loneliness can be an important first step to coping during difficult times, and helping others do the same. Here is a selection of books that offer clarity and insight into important areas of well-being.…
How to Use All Your Vacation — And Really Unplug — hbr.org A conversation with psychologist Art Markman and associate professor Kaitlin Woolley on why we need to take breaks more than ever.
From the Archives
The Day Everything Changes, but You Won't Notice — www.childabusesurvivor.net That day is today. The December solstice. Up here in the Northern Hemisphere, it's the shortest day of the year. (As defined by hours of daylight,
Sharing - Human Connection: Why It's Important — www.childabusesurvivor.net Here's the thing that I tend to forget, you don't need to wait for an emergency to make someone feel seen, heard, and valued. In fact, we can maybe avoid more emergencies if we were in the habit of doing this. We have an opportunity to do that any time we spend time with the people we care about. But, we have to actually spend the time to do that. I have a tendency to simply tell people that I'm here when they need me, instead of reaching out with a quick message, text, or even coffee just because. I can't help but wonder how many chances I've had to see and hear them, that I've missed. The holidays are, of course, a really good chance to send that text, get in touch, and remind people that you value them. You can read the article below to see just how much good that might do.
How We Talk to Ourselves Matters — www.childabusesurvivor.net As you read the rest of the article you'll see how self-distancing conversations look a lot more like those conversations with friends I referenced earlier. Getting away from all of the "I" and "me" and fairly judging the situation quietly and calmly as if it was happening to someone else can put it into a perspective that we sometimes lose when we are thinking of ourselves, especially those of us who struggle with self-blame. Of course, then that self-blame turns to rumination which feeds into depression, and round and round we go. There is a better way, and the examples given can help if we are willing to practice them. Especially the idea of reminding ourselves that we've already been through tougher, and more stressful situations and come out the other side.
Sharing - Sex Offenders Groom Churches Too — www.childabusesurvivor.net This article is from 2018, and is obviously written to Churches, but I think this bit is applicable in every setting, church, schools, sport teams, and society in general: We should not just worry about the creepy guy in the back. Successful predators can be in positions of respect in our churches. Deception is the...
Sharing - Mental health first aid kit: 10 essential items that will help when life gets tough — www.childabusesurvivor.net I may not necessarily agree with everything on Dr. Zoe's list, but I am on-board with the idea of knowing ahead of time what kinds of activities, people, etc. will help take care of your mental health when you need it. You and I may not have a current mental health diagnosis right now, but we all are having low days, struggle days. Doing something about those, might just help us avoid spiraling into a situation where we do end up with something more serious.