Revue newsletter for Child Abuse Survivor - Issue #14
New from the Blogs
Sharing - Better Mental Health May Not Mean Exactly What You Think It Does — www.childabusesurvivor.net I will say that his discussion around what people come into therapy for in terms of defining good mental health is often an issue. When I started therapy I wanted to not dissociate, because the dissociative states were proving to be more and more dangerous. But, it wasn't like we could sit and discuss plans to simply stop, we had to dig into what happens right before I dissociate and learn better ways of dealing with that. (In my case, stress) Even then, the desire to simply feel less stress is not always possible. It would have solved the immediate reason why I was in therapy, less stress would make me less likely to dissociate, right? But it also wasn't sustainable because at some point life is going to be stressful. The key was not to avoid stress but to learn how to recognize it, acknowledge it, feel it, and deal with it in a healthier way. So yes, I agree our definition of good mental health needs to incorporate much, much more than "not feeling sad, anxious, depressed, etc." because we will feel those things again at some point. They are unavoidable, but succumbing to them without a proper response is not. We can, and should, learn how to do that.
Sharing - Surgeon General Vivek Murthy warns about youth mental health — www.childabusesurvivor.net I appreciate the fact that the current Surgeon General seems to understand that dealing with mental health issues in the US is not going to be one simple thing that makes it all better. This quote demonstrates that he understands that the problem is multi-dimensional and that any solution will also have to be:
Sharing - How to heal through life writing — www.childabusesurvivor.net This is an interesting way to think about writing, whether you do it publicly like Uddipana did, or just write for yourself.
Shared from Elsewhere
Box Breathing Can Help You Deal with Symptoms of Verbal Abuse | HealthyPlace — www.healthyplace.com Box breathing can help victims of verbal abuse learn how to regulate their emotions and take control of their life once again. Find out how it works at HealthyPlace.
How Does Trauma Hijack the Brain? | Psychology Today — www.psychologytoday.com A look at how traumatic experiences affect brain development.
My Healing From Trauma Doesn’t Depend on Forgiving You | The Mighty — themighty.com Hearing repeatedly how forgiveness is the first step to healing trauma, Teona argues the healing power found in not forgiving.
Social Media Has Everyone Using Fear and Outrage to Get Attention, even the NY Times — www.mikemcbrideonline.com I'm making an example of the Times because they like to consider themselves America's "Paper of Record", and even they are now using fear and outrage to gain attention, no better than a Twitter or Facebook troll, but it's happening everywhere. It's also no surprise that it's becoming popular among all media outlets because it works. If we've learned anything from fake news sites, biased cable channels, YouTube "experts" and social media influencers it's that you will never lose an audience by making people afraid. You will get their attention, you will stimulate a fear-based response that causes their brand to kick into survival mode and become hyperalert to dangers, which they then are happy to continue to feed you.
From the Archives
The Importance of Support — www.childabusesurvivor.net Sometimes, when we are in the midst of dealing with the absolute worst of our issues, and trying to overcome the effects childhood abuse is having on our
Sharing - Small Talk With A Stranger Can Still Save Lives, Says Samaritans — www.childabusesurvivor.net I've talked about this a little bit, but maybe not in detail. When I was really struggling, I can't necessarily say that someone starting a conversation with me made the difference that day. I don't think I was self-aware enough to know that. What I do know, however, is that being seen makes a huge difference. In my depression, I did not want to be seen. I wanted to fade away. That was the driver behind my desire, to simply not be here. To disconnect from everything in order to disconnect from the pain I was in. Small connections helped me understand what I was giving up, and why I might want to rethink that.
Sharing - Don’t Just Post About Supporting Those With Depression, Support Them — www.childabusesurvivor.net John ends his post with an important message, one that I echo for sure because his story is something I've heard too many times. He talks about "reaching out" to people only to be dismissed. Being told "Oh you're strong, you'll get through this", or that it's not that serious, and then the struggle to reach out to a hotline or for professional help and be met with some short term strategies, and lack of available resources, etc. is how you "support" depression without really supporting the person in front of you dealing with depression. Just the other day I saw someone close to me talking about spending 45 minutes just trying to figure out how to set up an appointment with a therapist through the app her insurance has set up for her through her employer, before finally giving up. This is why we need reminders like this for the people we know, and why we need to remind the entire mental health care industry of this as well.
Link - I speak out about my sexual abuse because others still suffer in silence — www.childabusesurvivor.net “So now I speak. Bravely, bluntly, honestly. However you want to look at it, I speak. I’m a sexual abuse survivor and I did exactly that – I survived. Even now as I write this, I’m aware that future employers and my father’s family can see my words but I refuse to bow down to...