Revue newsletter for Child Abuse Survivor - Issue #10
New from the Blogs
The Many Ways We Invalidate Someone's Story — www.childabusesurvivor.net We could also talk about abuse here too, and all the ways our stories all invalidated. How many of these have you heard from folks who find out about the abuse you dealt with as a child, or even as an adult: "You were young, you'll get over it" (Or you don't remember it that well) "Are you sure it was abuse?" "I can't imagine (abuser) doing that" "Why didn't you just leave?" "How could you have let that happen?"
Sharing - Aly Raisman Talks Healing from Triggering Senate Testimony — www.childabusesurvivor.net This makes complete sense, but I fear it's something we don't remember when it comes to our own healing. We kind of forget that there are ups and downs, and we also tend to forget just how much energy and effort is involved in talking about it anywhere, let alone in front of a Senate Committee and national audience, and how that's going to impact us for a time. What Aly, and the other gymnasts, did that day in the hearing is brave, but we'd do well to also recognize how much energy that took as well, and the need to recover from that energy expenditure, because we should also be applying that to ourselves, and our own healing.
Sharing - Don’t Just Post About Supporting Those With Depression, Support Them — www.childabusesurvivor.net John ends his post with an important message, one that I echo for sure because his story is something I've heard too many times. He talks about "reaching out" to people only to be dismissed. Being told "Oh you're strong, you'll get through this", or that it's not that serious, and then the struggle to reach out to a hotline or for professional help and be met with some short term strategies, and lack of available resources, etc. is how you "support" depression without really supporting the person in front of you dealing with depression. Just the other day I saw someone close to me talking about spending 45 minutes just trying to figure out how to set up an appointment with a therapist through the app her insurance has set up for her through her employer, before finally giving up. This is why we need reminders like this for the people we know, and why we need to remind the entire mental health care industry of this as well.
Sharing - Others Have it Worse — www.childabusesurvivor.net I think there maybe a couple of reasons why we fall into this. Al mentions one of the big ones, this becomes a way to avoid really facing our own issues. Since our issues are "not as bad" as someone else we can point to, this becomes our excuse to simply accept them instead of trying to work on ourselves and do the hard work of healing. Similarly, I also think this is an example where so many of us don't see ourselves as worthy of getting better. Our issues aren't as bad, so we don't really deserve to get treatment, or get support, or even admit that we need it. The truth, though, is that everyone is worth being supported and getting help when necessary. There is no one in this world who has never needed any support, no matter what kinds of trauma and struggles they are having, or how bad someone else might have it.
Shared from Elsewhere
How To Teach Children About Mental Health - Unwanted Life — unwantedlife.me Learning about mental health and how we can look after our wellbeing is important to learn as children, but the sooner we do, the better
To Overcome Depression, Think Flexibly, Not Positively | Psychology Today — www.psychologytoday.com New research reviews thinking errors in depression.
How Verbal Abuse from Mothers Affects Sons | HealthyPlace — www.healthyplace.com Boys who suffer verbal abuse from their mothers can grow up have several issues. Find out what they are and how you can prevent them at HealthyPlace.
Books About Wonder and Sparking Joy in Dark Seasons — bookriot.com Powerful books about joy, wonder, and finding meaning and connection even during the darkest of seasons.
From the Archives
Link - How to Support Someone Who Has Experienced Trauma — www.childabusesurvivor.net Both the infographic and the linked article have some good information, and I love the thought about what it would look like if we could see the psychological wounds. “What would we do if we could see every psychological wound ever inflicted as a physical bruise? We would see a lot of black and...
Sharing - 5 Things to Know About Toxic Shame — www.childabusesurvivor.net Heck, for me, these words were pretty close to exact quotes from the person who abused me. I wanted this because I'm bad, if anyone found out about it, or the way my body reacted, they would know who I really am and reject me. It's part and parcel of being abused, believing this. Of course, none of it is true, but when this is what your own mind tells you every single day for years and years? It's not going away that easy, so maybe spend some time reading links like the one below about how to combat toxic shame.
It's All So Toxic — www.childabusesurvivor.net Of course, one of the tell-tale signs of depression, and unhealthy responses to trauma, like abuse, is overly black and white thinking. Going to extremes, if you will. So, it's easy for many of us to fall into these toxic traps. It's easy to think that we should feel shame about what happened to us, or that we can somehow rid ourselves of that shame, and anger, by simply refusing to do anything but be positive. But neither one of these is real healing. Real healing, like real emotions, and real people, are messier than that. It's still worth it though, as are a lot of those messy emotions and people too. If you let yourself get out of the black and white thinking, you just might see that too.
Reviews Elsewhere - Therapy Toolkit: Sixty Cards for Self-Exploration — www.childabusesurvivor.net "Though not a replacement to therapy, Therapy Toolkit is a gentle primer for or complement to therapy. A comprehensive booklet that includes an introduction to the therapeutic process, tips on using the deck, and a list of resources for further guidance accompanies the deck."