From the Archives May 22, 2026

The off-week trip through 24 years of blog posts.

Photo by Mr Cup / Fabien Barral on Unsplash

Choose Your Words Carefully - You Impact People Around You

I have said it many times - the reason you don't "know anyone with mental health issues" is most likely because you aren't a safe person to talk to about those issues. More than that, by creating an environment where mental health is not talked about, or is maybe even stigmatized, you are making it less likely that the people you care about will seek out help when they need it.

Disclosure Seems Like a Simple Word, It’s Not a Simple Thing To Do

Be honest, how many people in your life are you close enough to that you could sit down and have a conversation about child abuse with them? How many people do you trust to react in a helpful, non-stigmatizing way? I'm willing to bet that number is small. It's small because, well, some people can't be trusted that way, and because most of the people we know we don't know well enough to know how they'd react. Again, that's a lot of pressure to take on. Maybe it'd be easier not to talk about.

Thoughts on Mother’s and Father’s Days

It occurred to me later that this same approach could be helpful as a survivor of child abuse as well. Yes, many of us do not have the types of parents who embody the qualities of the good mothers and fathers we celebrate on these days, but I bet most of us know people in our lives who bring those qualities to their relationships with us. They may not be our parents, but the presence of those qualities of character around us deserves celebration.

Another Good Reason to Talk About Child Abuse

Far too many of us are walking through life assuming that no one understands us, that no one cares about what we are going through, that no one else has had to overcome so much. But statistics do not lie. You likely already have a number of survivors among your friends, family, and coworkers. They're all just as afraid to talk about it as you are, but who will be the first?

Enjoy the Details

If healing is a long journey, then there are many details. You don't take a long drive by looking up the destination on a map, setting out, and getting there. No, you have to figure out the route from here to there, where to turn, where to stop, when to take a break, and so on. Each is part of your journey and another step toward the goal. If you don't enjoy the steps or count the small victories, the journey can drag on and on, becoming overwhelming.