From the Archives June 19, 2026
The off-week trip through 24 years of blog posts.
I’ve been on vacation this week, traveling around and focusing on seeing and learning new things while we tour New Mexico. It’s always an interesting reminder to visit a museum and see the same phrases used to excuse behavior from hundreds of years ago that are still used today.
But, rather than becoming a political newsletter, let me just share this:
Why We All Need a Wide Support Network
The simple answer is that no one person can do everything for us.
So please, even if you don't want to share your story yet, you never know who you might help by spreading the word about others who do. It helps to know that we are not alone.
It’s Amazing What You Get Used To
When Nedra talks about growing up in an alcoholic family, naturally, that was something that resonated with me. Growing up, my father was an alcoholic. It was normal for me to fear your father, especially when they’d been drinking. It was normal for there to be violence at home. It was normal for children to be physically attacked for as little as making too much noise.
Perhaps worst of all, it was also normal to keep it all secret, not to share what happens at home with anyone outside the immediate family.
This made it all the easier for the sexual abuse I suffered later to be kept secret.
Children being abused have this whole process short-circuited. They do not grasp the big picture and their place in it. They only know what is right in front of them. That's why it is so difficult for survivors to truly understand that what happened was not their fault. Because we haven't learned that other people make choices and do things that are not based on our behavior. We don't grow up understanding our place in the world, so we don't understand that not everything that happens is happening because of us.
You - “I got jumped by someone with a weapon who stole my car.”
Them - “That sucks, what did the police say? Do they think they can catch them?”
Compare that to the conversations too many victims of sexual assault have:
You - “I was sexually assaulted.” Followed by some details of where and who did it.
Them - “Are you sure it wasn’t just a misunderstanding? What were you wearing? Were you drinking? If you don’t remember every detail, maybe it didn’t happen.”
Then, we wonder why these crimes go mostly unreported.