From the Archives - July 3, 2026
The off-week trip through 24 years of blog posts. Holiday weekend edition
July 3 may be a day off for many of my US readers. It is for me, too. It’s the long Independence Day weekend, and the US is celebrating its 250th year of independence. I was alive in 1976 for the Bicentennial. I was a child, but I have some vague memories of it; mostly, it’s an impression that 1976 was more of a celebration than 2026 is, and just maybe that’s a sign of how hard life has become for many.
That’s not the point I want to make, though. July 4th is also my birthday. That means sometimes my feelings about my own birthday are tied up in my feelings about the country. This year, it’s less about the country and more about 2019. When I spent my birthday flying home from my mother’s funeral.
A colleague recently lost her mother, so it’s been on my mind. It’s a reminder that even when there’s a holiday, not everyone will be celebrating. We all have our own stories and our own grief. I doubt that anyone on that flight knew that we were not holiday travelers, but funeral travelers.
We don’t always know what someone else is going through, and it’s best to never assume we do. It’s also best, in the midst of that kind of pain, to never assume that we are alone in it. We don’t talk about it, but many of us share it. There’s comfort in knowing that.
As a survivor, I'm reminded that the most important thing you can do to help yourself heal is to know yourself. It's easy for me to sit here and write about what has worked for me, or what has helped, but it might not be all that helpful for you. We're different people, with different issues, and different responses to what happened to us as children. It would only make sense that what helps us would be somewhat different as well.
Sharing - The Best Way to Reduce Anxiety Is to Make Your Brain Feel Safe
So, before we start recommending exercise, mindfulness, etc., can we take a moment to ensure people's safety? It's the literal minimum we should offer before we start lecturing on how to make your brain feel safer.
How We Make It Harder For Kids to Tell
So, how is running around talking about how anyone who abuses a child deserves to be killed in horrible ways going to help a child feel safe and secure about telling? Are we not handing an abuser a manipulation tool to be used against our own kids? (”Look, if you tell, your parents will kill me, and you don’t want to be the cause of someone’s death, do you?”)
Leaving an Impression - Lessons from Otis Redding
What if you did know this was the last time you would get to talk to someone? What would you want them to know? What would you want to say to them?
Leave them with an impression that lasts a lifetime, just in case it needs to.
Sharing - Simple social rituals like eye contact and small talk are psychologically powerful
If you’re like me and don’t want to engage in lengthy conversations with strangers, this article is good news. Even small connections- a smile, a nod, or a pleasant “hello,” have mental health benefits.
It might also remind us of the humanity of the people around us. There are worse things.