From the Archives Feb. 27, 2026
The off-week trip through 24 years of blog posts.
I don’t know if I should be glad that the stuff I’ve written over the years is still relevant, or angry that it is.
Blaming the Victim or Soothing Our Own Anxiety?
It's a tough thing to live with the knowledge that, at any second, you could become a victim through no fault of your own. It's scary; it can even be paralyzing. So we seek alternative realities. One of those is finding a "reason" why anyone becomes a victim and convincing ourselves that reason doesn't apply to us; therefore, we are safe.
The Truth About Trafficking From A 20-Year Veteran of the Child Exploitation Task Force
I think she’s right about that last point. I’ve written many times about the stories I hear, over and over again, where people don’t want to hear about child abuse and sexual abuse. It’s too sad and dirty. It isn’t very pleasant. People don’t want to know about how much sex trafficking goes on right around us every day, and the hard work we could do to solve the problem. They’d rather believe conspiracy theories and look to their “heroes,” who are nothing but con artists, to fix it for them by going on rescue missions or attacking the “elites” who are supposedly controlling all sex trafficking around the world. That seems simpler than solving the problems that make kids vulnerable to trafficking: poverty, abuse, racism, a lack of support for kids transitioning out of foster care, or LGBTQ kids whom their own families do not accept.
Those are real problems that create vulnerable kids who go on to become real victims.
Sharing - What happens after you tell your story? That’s a story in itself
And if you feel strongly that you want to write a book, start a site like this, and hit social media and tell the world, make sure you are prepared for all of it. Once it’s out, you no longer control it.
Once you’re sure, though, tell your story for all the people who aren’t ready yet.
Relationships are Hard for Survivors, We Don’t Know Ourselves
How could I be in an intimate relationship with someone else when I wasn't aware of myself?
Quick Thought #21 - Stark Differences in How I Talk To Myself
I failed to notice that the restaurant only offered pickup until we sat around, wondering why I hadn’t received any notification that our food was on the way. It had been sitting there, getting cold, waiting for us to pick it up for at least 20-25 minutes. We quickly hopped in the car to get it; all the while, I apologized over and over to my wife, berated myself internally for not noticing and screwing up our dinner, etc.
When we got there, I ran inside only to discover that the restaurant had only one meal, not two. Part of the order had gotten cut off, and no one caught it until I got there and asked about the second meal. The manager made things right very quickly, apologizing repeatedly.
My response?
“No worries, it’s all good. We’ve got our food, and that’s all that matters.”
And then I got back in the car, telling myself that this whole mess could have been avoided if I had handled ordering correctly in the first place.
Sharing - Spotting a Child Predator: The Brightest Red Flags
That’s the winner right there. Kids who are not isolated or lonely and who know they are loved and supported are the ones who tell you about grooming behavior from the very start. They have adults they trust and are connected to people who are more likely to notice grooming and believe the child who reports inappropriate behavior.
That’s the best tool we have to prevent child sexual abuse.