I recently read Andrew McCarthy’s new book “Who Needs Friends.”
Andrew, of course, is famous for his acting roles and his recent career as a travel writer, but he took a personal journey to reconnect with old friends and documented it for his recent book, which focused very much on male friendship and the lack thereof for many men.
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As a travel writer, he naturally spends much of the book talking about his experiences on the road, but it’s intertwined not only with his own experiences with friends, but conversations about friendship with various people he meets.
Did I learn any big secrets about friendships? Not really. The reality is we know how to be better friends, how to show up for the people around us; we just don’t do it because, well, life gets in the way. As you’ll see later in the newsletter, part of the reason we have an epidemic of loneliness is that we’ve designed a society that prevents people from showing up in their communities.
That’s some real damage, because, as this book points out, we all need friends.
Andrew’s journey served as a reminder of the effort required to show up, the effort required to let people show up for us, and all the excuses we find to not make that effort.
If you need a reminder, check it out.
New from the Blogs
Something You Can Do For Your Mental Health - Something New
For many survivors, routine keeps us safe. That same familiarity means you never have to deal with the unexpected, but it can also leave you stuck. It's hard to develop resilience without occasionally doing something new. There's also the reality of missing the mental health benefits of new experiences. That's a real thing. Luckily, the something new doesn't have to be anything big. The article above has some ideas: small, everyday things you can do to practice doing something new.
Sharing - Students Say Mental Health Isn’t Taboo – But Talking to Parents Is
I’m not a parent, but I can imagine how much I would want to help my kids if I had any. The urge to fix the problem would be strong, as would the urge to assume my kids are okay because we’re raising them right.
The truth is that both of those urges are doing more harm than good, and may be the reason kids are comfortable talking to their peers and online about mental health, but not their own parents.
Sharing - Feeling lonely? This can cost you up to six healthy years
We know these facts. This is only the most recent research showing the negative impacts of loneliness and social isolation on mental and physical health. And yet, we live in a world that keeps making it harder and harder to connect with other human beings. In fact, we increasingly live in a world designed to dehumanize vast numbers of other people and determine our own value solely on the amount of time we spend working. That won't create community.
We’re only harming ourselves.
Shared from Elsewhere
Speaking of doing new things, one key to mental health might be curiosity:
VIDEO: Are you trapped in modern life’s ‘default setting’
You might find this interesting: Healing the Whole Family: A Graphic Novel on Intergenerational Trauma
The lack of sleep has a ton of negative impacts on us - Insomnia linked to higher risk of dementia, suicide, stroke and other major health issues: Study
Which makes this even scarier - 71% of Americans Say They’re Completely Exhausted
I have always found humor helpful for my mental health. A good laugh can make a real difference to my day. It’s not always the appropriate response, though - Humor Can Boost Mood, But There’s A Catch For People With Depression
Making a Difference:
Kimmy Noonen turns family, mental health and memory into art
Jewel says her top songs were ‘medicine’ amid mental health issues. Now, she’s helping others
Daniel Jones lost a friend to suicide; now he advocates for others to ask for help
Christian Bale’s California foster care village was in the works for nearly 20 years. It’s now open
Thanks for reading. If you find this newsletter informative and helpful, please share it with others. That’s the best way to express gratitude for my weekly efforts.