Child Abuse Survivor - Issue #184
The abject lesson we are learning in real time about why survivors don't tell.
The news has been distressing for child sexual abuse survivors lately. What we are watching play out in the US with the Epstein files and the complete lack of accountability has been excrutiating.
I also think witnessing what it happening should be teaching us all about why survivors don’t come forward. It’s rarely safe, and it’s also never enough.
I saw this Instagram post this week displaying some of the responses received when they asked followers why they didn’t tell anyone. The responses are heartbreaking, but also are no surprise to those of us who also didn’t tell for many, many years.
Thank you for reading the Child Abuse and Mental Health Survivors newsletter. Each week, I share new blog posts and other resources that aim to help survivors of childhood abuse and those who are struggling with mental health issues feel less alone as we discuss the issues surrounding our issues.
For more information about me and why this newsletter exists, visit the website, Child Abuse Survivor.
So, here’s the deal. Whether you told the entire world online, only a few close loved ones, or no one at all, you are still welcome and believed here. Sharing the truth of our abuse is never an easy choice. It is also very much your choice. I support survivors doing whatever helps them feel safe and moves them toward healing. That won’t be the same for all of us, and that’s OK.
If healing means anything to me, it’s giving myself the freedom to make choices about what I want my life to be. Sharing my story is one of those choices that I made. I won’t make that choice for you.
Given what we are watching play out on the news and social media right now, I don’t think I’ll have any patience for the next person who suggests someone is making it up because “they should have spoken out when it happened.”
Some of the survivors did, and we see how well that turned out.
How are you dealing with the news lately?
New from the Blogs
Where are Kids Supposed to Connect?
If we consider what has changed for kids over the last couple of decades, the issues are similar. Kids don’t wander around our communities on their own anymore. We’ve decided that was too dangerous. Outside organized sports, there aren’t many places where teens can socialize offline.
Naturally, in a world where they no longer had access to peers outside of school, they turned to the internet. Phones and social media were the fallback for connecting. Now, however, many find that the option has been taken away as well.
Related - Strong relationships are key to youth mental health.
Sharing - Unsettled: Why America is Emotionally Unwell
Our natural stress and anxiety about the state of our country and our individual futures is not a disorder. It’s our nervous system detecting a clear danger and responding.
The question isn’t always about how to be more resilient; sometimes it’s about how to make it less dangerous for everyone.
Funding cuts to child mental healthcare are bad health and economic policy
As Renée points out, childhood trauma increases the likelihood of a wide range of physical and mental health issues later in life. To the tune of trillions of dollars. The way to address those outcomes is through early interventions for kids. Often, those are available because of grants and government funding. That costs money, but it's a better alternative to all of the costs associated with treating the long-term impacts of trauma.
Sharing - Mental Health Care Deserves More Than AI Therapy
This is part of the connection we need for our mental health. It's not clear that AI tools can provide this. It's not human. It's the illusion of connection when our humanity deserves the real thing. AI can supplement; it is always available and provides access to a wealth of information, but it can't provide a real human connection.
Worth Reading - The main reason your company’s healthcare costs are skyrocketing
Here’s the interesting thing. When workplaces have made people ill, we’ve done little to hold them accountable. We have done some things, though. (Asbestos lawsuits, for example.) It hasn’t amounted to much in the broader context, but we do acknowledge that working in an environment that causes health issues is generally frowned upon. We have not reached that point with mental health. We’ve not started thinking about the poor health outcomes for people pushed to the brink and beyond by their managers.
We should, and businesses should be leading the charge, because this is costing them a ton in health insurance premiums.
Shared from Elsewhere
Study reveals persistent gaps in child mental health access
One in five households reported a child needing treatment, yet nearly a quarter didn’t receive it, and many who did still struggled to access care.
IMHO, one part of it is because we don’t talk about grief enough - Why Grief Makes You Feel Alone: Understanding Isolation After Loss.
Some more talking about grief - How We Grieve: Meghan O’Rourke on the Messiness of Mourning and Learning to Live with Loss.
I think it always matters, but I get the point - Why kindness matters so much right now. Also, Kindness catches on and changes lives, and How kindness improves mental health.
Speaking of things we are dealing with right now - When the Government Becomes the Source of Trauma for Children.
I will admit that, as nerdy as I am, D&D has never held much interest for me, but if it can help, why not try it? - Dungeons & Dragons, long played for fun, is being explored for therapeutic potential.
Making a Difference:
Spiking Stigma: Boise State Beach Volleyball player launches mental health
Blooms & Petals founder and author launches Mental Health America campaign for February
Illinois Had Massive Gaps in Mental Health Coverage. We Organized to Fix It.
Prince William opens up on mental health, understanding his ‘emotions’
Thanks for reading. If you find this newsletter informative and helpful, please share it with others. That’s the best way to express gratitude for my weekly efforts.