Child Abuse Survivor - Issue #169
It's July and I'm another year older.
Long-time readers may know that, as my birthday approaches, I often have some deep thoughts to share, but this year I didn’t. This year has been difficult for many in the US, and with my birthday coinciding with America’s, the day was complicated.
It’s always complicated, but this year has been so much.
Thank you for reading the Child Abuse and Mental Health Survivors newsletter. Each week, I share new blog posts and other resources that aim to help survivors of childhood abuse and those who are struggling with mental health issues feel less alone as we discuss the issues surrounding our issues.
For more information about me and why this newsletter exists, visit the website, Child Abuse Survivor.
I wrote a similar message to this on Facebook, and I think it’s about as deep as I’m going to get on the subject. It was also a reminder of what social media could be versus what it has become, and that’s sad.
I haven't been very active on FB for months, mostly because I think the news feed pretty much sucks and the things Meta decides I "need" to see are bad for my mental health.
Still, it was nice to hear from so many friends today. The only way we get through this is by keeping in community and being here for each other.
It wasn’t that long ago that I mourned the passing of my grandmother online with my cousins, celebrated my favorite teams with other fans online, or gathered in social media conversations in real-time with other survivors. Yet it feels like that was a different world, because it was. The tech companies have changed that world, and, frankly, our politics have changed the world as well.
That’s why I’ve been thinking a lot about community of late. We all need our people more than ever, but it can be hard to find them. Where do you see your people online?
New from the Blogs
The question isn't just about making therapy available to more people, though that is important. It's also about eliminating the environmental factors that cause harm to our mental health. Those will vary depending on where we live. What works in Louisiana is not what works in New York. What is needed here is different because the environment is different.
Most of all, can we even see the issues as they apply to different places? If we can't see that, how do we see the problems faced by any individual?
Natural Disasters Don't Care Who You Voted For
More importantly, though, is to understand what we say to each other because, as someone who was abused as a child and dealt with severe depression for years, I know what it's like when people around you see you as less-than. I know what it feels like to feel that way internally, and that is part of the abuse and depression, but it was also part of society that told me that. The part that got uncomfortable any time I was around, or who gets on podcasts and blogs to talk about the damaged goods that abuse survivors are, or mocks "crazy people." The solution to that is not to find another group that you consider to be beneath you; it's to see the value in every life. To recognize the humanity in all of us and make political decisions that lift the humanity in all of us.
Sharing - How to talk to your kids if you're worried something might've happened
There is so much good advice that I don't have anything to add, other than to remember how many children don't tell anyone for years, if ever. This is why the topic is so important.
Sharing - Simple social rituals like eye contact and small talk are psychologically powerful.
If you're like me and don't want to be open to lengthy conversations with strangers, this article is good news. Even small connections, a smile, a nod, or a pleasant "hello," have mental health benefits.
It might also remind us of the humanity of the people around us. There are worse things.
Sharing - The Second Betrayal: The Hidden Factor That Makes Childhood Trauma So Devastating
It's no wonder that I felt alone. I was alone. I was also lucky in finding someone else who was willing to tell their secret in my 20s. Most survivors remain alone with their trauma for decades. Even when they go about their lives, marry, have families, etc., they live alone in their trauma. Others tried to tell someone and weren't believed, which is a level of being alone that I cannot imagine.
Related: Community Is Medicine That Heals.
Shared from Elsewhere
A link to bookmark - Sexual Assault Survivors: Resources, Support Groups, and Therapy
It sucks, but it’s true. - An Inconvenient Truth about Meaningful Change: Slow is Fast
Also - Mental Health Recovery Isn’t Linear: Here’s Why It Can Feel Like You’re Catching Up With Time.
Always true:
I’ve said it many times, you can’t touch grass your way out of poverty:
Growing Up Poor Has Long-Term Mental Health Costs, Danish Study Finds
Another topic we’ve discussed before - Editorial: We Treat Mental Illness Like a Crime.
One of the most important things you can do for your career is networking. The more people you know and who know your talents, the better off you are. But that can be difficult for some of us. Here are some ideas: 7 Creative Alternatives to Traditional Networking for Trauma Survivors.
Every day, we are inundated by bad news. Use these tips to help. - It just never ends.
Making a Difference:
With each strikeout, Padres All-Star Jason Adam donates to help kids in crisis
Harry's Announces 'Got Your 6' Challenge to Raise Awareness and Funds for Veteran Mental Health
“A walking testimony”: A Man is walking across America raising awareness on mental health
Man starts nonprofit focused on men's mental health, suicide prevention
Record-breaking golf tournament raises $150,000 for Newport Mental Health
From the Archives
Leaving an Impression - Lessons from Otis Redding
What if you did know this was the last time you would get to talk to someone? What would you want them to know? What would you want to say to them?
Leave them with an impression that lasts a lifetime, just in case it needs to.
As An Advocate, I Can't Do Everything, But Together We Might
One of the worst ways I've seen people wreck their mental health is by not knowing their limits.
Music for your mental health - Where the Road Goes
The words reminded me so much of a time in my life when I could have died, and I thought none of this was worth it. It also reminded me of why I didn't - my curiosity. My desire to see what happens and "where the road goes" may have been the only thing that kept me alive back then. I didn't have much hope to hold on to, but I knew enough to know that I didn't have all the answers and couldn't tell the future. Why not see what happens tomorrow and the day after that?
Thanks for reading. If you find this newsletter informative and helpful, please share it with others. That’s the best way to express gratitude for my weekly efforts.