Child Abuse Survivor - Issue #160
Just show up
I wanted to share this podcast episode with you from Adam Grant’s Rethinking:
The importance of validation with therapist Caroline Fleck
Thank you for reading the Child Abuse and Mental Health Survivors newsletter. Each week, I share new blog posts and other resources that aim to help survivors of childhood abuse and those who are struggling with mental health issues feel less alone as we discuss the issues surrounding our issues.
For more information about me and why this newsletter exists, visit the website Child Abuse Survivor.
I would listen to the whole thing, but I loved Adam’s summary of the interview:
Caroline reminds us that in hard times, people don't want to be told to look on the bright side. They wanna know that you're on their side. Even if you can't help them feel better, you can always help them feel seen. The best way to support others is not always to cheer them up. It's often to show up.
I don’t know about you, but I feel like 2025 is the year we should start showing up for people if we haven’t before. So many people are hurting and struggling, and I don’t believe there will be some sizeable political force that changes things. It will take community to get through this, and too many people live outside our communities. We need to bring them all in.
How can we show up for each other? How can you show up for the people in your life today? How can we make sure that we are helping them feel seen?
New from the Blogs
Sharing - Spotting a Child Predator: The Brightest Red Flags
That's the winner right there. Kids who are not isolated or lonely and who know they are loved and supported are kids who tell you about grooming behavior at the very start. They have adults they trust and are connected to people who would be more likely to notice the grooming and believe the child who tells them about inappropriate behavior.
Sharing - How to use mindful practices to manage dissociation
I've never been taken to mediation the way other people have. I don't particularly like the experience. It makes me profoundly uncomfortable.
I don't know why; it doesn't seem to work for me. I wonder, however, if part of my issue is that I need to live with some low-level dissociation. Maybe I'm so used to being slightly detached that focusing my attention entirely inward is too much. It's overwhelming. It's too much of a risk.
Have I spent so much time managing my dissociation that I don't know how to live without it? Am I ever fully in the moment? Is that possible for me?
Boys get molested. I was one of them. Lots of other men you know were likely molested, too. Some of them may not even know because we weren't taught that boys could be victims of sexual abuse. After all, if our bodies reacted, we must have wanted it somehow.
This reasoning is so outdated and harmful. Men who were sexually abused as children deserve to have their stories told. All survivors deserve access to support and resources. It's the very least we can do.
Linked - New NAMI Poll Finds Employees Reluctant to Discuss Their Mental Health at Work
In the era of the current administration pushing hard against DEI policies, workplace accommodations, and the mass layoffs happening all across the economy, why would we bring attention to ourselves and our mental health? Too many employers are looking for a reason to fire employees, and a mental health struggle might be one.
Financial Stress and Mental Health
The stress of financial instability is not something that we can eliminate with positive vibes. Being on the verge of poverty or in poverty is a mental health risk factor unto itself. No self-help apps will provide for you if you're laid off or prevent you from becoming homeless or hungry as the cost of living continues to outpace your income.
Shared from Elsewhere
For my US readers, something to remember this weekend is that 'Springing forward' comes with a mental health price for some.
Right now, things seem pretty bleak. The Power Of Hope: Finding Resilience in the Darkest of Times.
Also, healing is possible:
We don’t talk about this enough. Even if your family was massively dysfunctional, you can grieve all the things you never had:
Life After Child Abuse – Grieving the Loss of Family.
I am pessimistic about this improving any time soon. Despite laws to improve mental health insurance, there's little improvement.
I don’t talk about this often because I don’t feel qualified to discuss it in an educated way. However, that doesn’t mean we can’t learn more about it.
Types of Schizophrenia: The Full Spectrum of the Disorder
I’m almost always early so I can avoid the stress of being late:
Making a Difference:
People come to Natalie Eilbert with traumas and troubles. She makes sure they are heard
15-year-old creates app to address mental health in the Black community
Local gym offers free Jiu Jitsu classes for teen girls struggling with mental health
The artists transforming mental health wards into healing spaces
Local high school hosts mental health awareness event with Joe Burrow Foundation's support
Yankton, SD teen creates mental health boxes for Girl Scout gold award
Benny Blanco on the importance of talking about mental health
"We Have Feelings Too": Donovan Mitchell's Powerful Push For Mental Health Awareness In The NBA
From the Archives
Quick Thought #21 - Stark Differences in How I Talk To Myself
"No worries, it's all good. We've got our food, and that's all that matters."
And then I got back in the car, telling myself that this whole mess could have been avoided if I had handled ordering correctly in the first place.
What is wrong with me?
Relationships are Hard for Survivors; We Don't Know Ourselves
I've said it many times before, but child abuse survivors simply don't develop a sense of ourselves the way we would expect children to. We do not understand our place in the world and our values. I know I did not have the appropriate answers to these questions the first time I got married. Is it any wonder that the relationship ended in divorce? I didn't know who I was or what intrinsic value I had. How could I be in an intimate relationship with someone else when I wasn't aware of myself?
How People Talking About It Helped Me
Unknowingly to me at the time, those posts and pieces of conversations had stuck with me and formed a basis for what to expect in the immediate aftermath as well as the weeks and months to come.
Thanks for reading. If you find this newsletter informative and helpful, please spread the word. That’s the best way to thank me for my weekly effort.
Great selection, as always. Thank you! I *love* the 5-min-early as self-care tip, so wise!