Child Abuse Survivor - Issue #159
Finding the balance between keeping up with the news and losing our mental health
I don’t know about you, but this is the question I ask myself multiple times per day:
Stay Informed or Protect Your Mental Health?
Thank you for reading the Child Abuse and Mental Health Survivors newsletter. Each week, I share new blog posts and other resources that aim to help survivors of childhood abuse and those who are struggling with mental health issues feel less alone as we discuss the issues surrounding our issues.
For more information about me and why this newsletter exists, visit the website - Child Abuse Survivor.
The post linked above feels familiar. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not doing a great job of finding that balance right now. I’m not built to find a happy medium, either. I’m a trauma survivor, and I need all the information so I can prepare for what is coming.
What I’ve been trying to do, however, is constantly remind myself that most of what is being said is a lie. The current administration learned from social media and Big Tech that if they create enough outrage, the world will be unable to keep up. They’ll just keep pushing lie after lie because our brains have not evolved to ignore information but to take it in and act on it.
Even with that knowledge, though, it’s rough right now. I know it. You know it. We all know it. There is so much fake bullshit coming at us every day that it would be easy to give up instead of taking the time to find real people doing real things to help. Those connections are the things that will help our mental health.
Related reading:
A year on Instagram boosted my mental health - social media can be a force for good
Feeling Overwhelmed by the News? Here’s How to Protect Your Mental Health
How are you holding up?
New from the Blogs
A Misunderstanding - What I Assumed Would Be Freeing Seems to be Difficult
As I said, that's the good news. It wasn't your fault. You didn't ask to be abused any more than a woman asks to be sexually harassed on the street or a minority asks to be discriminated against, and there wasn't any action you took to cause it. The decision to abuse was 100% on the abuser.
I also understand that this is bad news. Some people decide to hurt others based on their desires and ideas. There is no other reason and no promise that it will be just. It isn't easy to let go of that ideal when it's been drilled into us from an early age. Letting go means a complete reinterpretation of the world and our place in it.
Threatening to harm children by defunding the NCMEC
As Marisa Kabas, who should be credited with bringing all of this to light, points out, the NCMEC website no longer talks about the increased risk of trafficking to LGBTQ+ youth. They can no longer provide resources and education about those risks or information about how to support those kids. They are even expected to dead-name missing trans kids in all announcements.
They are leaving LGBTQ+ kids behind. The alternative to doing that was not to have funding to run the only reporting agency for online CSAM, the clearinghouse used by many online services and law enforcement agencies to combat CSAM and trafficking, and the primary source of information about missing children in the US.
Sharing - How to Find Hope When Everything Feels Hopeless
This is not only a matter of catastrophizing. It's also the tool we need to answer the question about what we can do about current events. Trying to look at the big picture and solve it will be overwhelming. The better question, and the healthier focus, is "What can I do right now, where I am?"
Sharing - How to support someone with depression
We often underestimate how much we can help because we live in a society constantly looking for a quick solution to problems. Depression doesn't have that, which leads us to feel helpless to solve the problem. That being said, there is nothing better when dealing with depression than knowing that someone (preferably multiple people) is going to be with you during the struggle. Everything seems overwhelming when you're in the midst of depression; you need someone to make it just a little less so.
Shared from Elsewhere
We could also use more of this every week: Random Acts of Kindness
This is interesting. I have never remembered all of the details of what happened to me as a child, and that was a choice my therapist and I made when I first started. The rationale was trying to recover all of the memories wasn’t as important as learning how to live as an adult with my diagnosis. Not everyone may agree with that choice, but others may not be able to remember it all, either. - You Don’t Have to Remember Your Trauma to Heal—Here’s Why 🧠
This is worth reading:
Sadly, I think there are going to be more and more situations like this - How to Support a Child in Crisis
Speaking of kids - Top 3 Mental Health Books Every Teen Should Read. What would you recommend?
We know where a kid grows up can impact so much about their lives, including mental health- Where young people grow up affects their mental health.
Making a Difference:
Island musician's new single to raise money for men's mental health
Midlands students recognized for teen mental health, substance abuse prevention advocacy efforts
The radio show taking on California’s youth mental health crisis
B.C. hockey hero speaks about mental health in Campbell River
From the Archives
Young Sheldon Cooper on How to Be Supportive
In typical Sheldon fashion, of course, he sits and looks at her until she finally talks, and as he realizes that he cannot “fix” her, he makes this statement:
“Turns out listening is easy, just sit there, and when you want to leave, don’t.”
Sharing - Know Your Partner's Trauma
We should all talk more about our trauma and let the people closest to us know how they can support us. I'd be willing to bet that more of them want to learn how to help than we expect. Maybe not, but not talking about our trauma doesn't help anyone.
Please Talk to Your Kids Before Someone Else Does
So, like I said, if talking to your kids is too hard, or you don't want to ruin their innocence when they're young, you go right ahead. There are plenty of places they can learn about sex if you don't do it. You might not like what they learn, though.
The Truth About Trafficking From A 20-year Veteran of the Child Exploitation Task Force
I've written many times about the stories I hear, over and over again, where people don't want to hear about child abuse and sexual abuse. It's too sad and dirty. It isn't very pleasant. They'd rather believe conspiracy theories and look to their "heroes," who are nothing but con artists, to fix it for them by going on rescue missions or attacking the "elites" who are supposedly controlling all sex trafficking around the world. That seems simpler than solving the problems that make kids vulnerable to trafficking: poverty, abuse, racism, a lack of support for kids transitioning out of foster care, or LGBTQ kids whom their own families do not accept.
Thanks for reading. If you find this newsletter informative and helpful, spread the word. That’s the best way to say thank you for my weekly effort.