Child Abuse Survivor - Issue #158
Feeling unsafe in the world
I know that many of you might be feeling unsafe lately. The world doesn’t seem to be a safe place. I get it. It was somewhat coincidental that I saw something I had written a year ago this week in response to a public case of sexual harassment in the legal tech industry. (The industry I work in.)
The premise last year was that even though I’m not a woman being harassed, I know what it means to feel unsafe. I grew up unsafe. I made myself small because I felt unsafe.
Right now, I’m not an immigrant, a member of the LGBTQ community, or a minority. I’m a middle-aged white male. I don’t know what it’s like for those groups right now, but I know what it feels like to feel unsafe:
Thank you for reading the Child Abuse and Mental Health Survivors newsletter. Each week, I share new blog posts and other resources that aim to help survivors of childhood abuse and those who are struggling with mental health issues feel less alone as we discuss the issues surrounding our issues.
For more information about me and why this newsletter exists, visit the website - Child Abuse Survivor.
I was beaten up and raped as a child. Everything I did at that age, and for years after, was to limit the amount of attention paid to me. I got straight As because I needed to avoid getting in trouble. I was extremely quiet and shy because I didn’t want anyone to notice me. In the middle of summer, I wore jeans, a T-shirt, and an overtop flannel shirt daily to hide myself. I quit sports. I didn’t sign up for any extra-curricular activities. When I was failing out of college, I didn’t ask for help. I hid. I only desired to be left alone. At work, I didn’t speak up for myself and my ideas. I tried not to have too many ideas. Outside of work, I tried to fit in and do what everyone else did.
If that sounds like you recently or for the last 30 years, I want you to know one thing. You’re not alone in feeling unsafe, and you’re not wrong for feeling unsafe.
Find your safe tribe, and if you aren’t feeling unsafe right now, find a way to be part of someone else’s tribe so they can have a little bit of safety in their lives. Share hope and love with them and connect them to others who can do the same.
New from the Blogs
Seeking Simple Answers is The Opposite of Emotional Intelligence.
Sadly, too many people seem to be looking for the easy answer to ease their discomfort rather than the answers that will bring about real change. We all pay for not teaching people how to be emotionally intelligent enough to do that.
Sharing - Social media isn’t the only cause of mental health woes among Texas youth.
Social media is easy to target, but it's not likely the most effective change to make for the benefit of youth mental health. The others take more work and get fewer headlines, so here we are.
Related - Sharing - Improving teen mental health with Lisa Damour.
I needed the ability to go places on my own because I didn't have the internet. Teens today have much less freedom to go places independently, so we should consider how to keep them connected to society if it's not online.
Sharing - How To Do Brain Dump: A Technique To Reduce Stress And Overthinking.
It's worth a try. This process usually reduces my stress around projects at work. There's no reason it shouldn't have a similar impact on social anxiety and other stresses in daily life.
Have you tried doing a brain dump when you're stressed and anxious?
Linked - What You Need to Know About the Misinformation Effect
Because if you read enough misinformation, you can't help but be influenced by it. The people who put out all this false information know it, too.
Shared from Elsewhere
Since we are on the topic of social media - Beyond Doom-Scrolling: Inspire Mental Health on Social Media, and for Black History Month, I’m going to promote these as well - Timeline Cleanse: 5 Black Mental Health Advocates To Follow for Healing and Empowerment
In case you need a reminder: Changing jobs is a big move, but it’s worth considering if your workplace is toxic
Also, trauma can sometimes show up at work even if the workplace isn’t the source - How Does Trauma Manifest at Work?
For your reference - Books - Resources for Healing & Resilience and a review of another book - My Dark Vanessa: Navigating the Complexities of Sexual Abuse.
This is a subject we’ve covered before, but here are some details from Alabama - For Alabamians with mental illness, incarceration can be life-threatening
UK childhood mental health crisis to cost £1.1tn in lost pay, study finds
“Time and time again we have asked for long-term thinking when it comes to health. Our leaders and decision-makers cannot rely on quick wins to rectify this situation. It’s time to create a sustainable service that focuses on prevention by delivering robust, holistic and timely care in the community and ensures the availability of specialist expert care for children and young people who need it.”
Making a Difference:
Cincinnati nonprofit provides mental health support for youth overcoming trauma at no cost
Elizabeth Smart shares her story in Nampa to help raise mental health awareness
SF Giants pitcher Logan Webb raises awareness on mental health, addiction
Mother of Cheslie Kryst advocates for mental health awareness nearly 3 years after daughter's death
Mike Ryan credits Tony Reali as 'lifesaver' during mental health struggles
From the Archives
We don't understand the importance of showing up, even if it's not perfect, just to let people know they are not alone in difficult situations.
Why Public Speaking Skills Could Help Us with Tough Conversations
I do not want to minimize how difficult these discussions can be. The decision to share your story is a terribly difficult and very personal one. Your choice is who you tell when you tell, and how you tell. This post is about "tough" conversations, one of the toughest you can have. That's why I want you to consider taking it seriously enough to go in with a plan, be aware of how tough it is on both sides, and allow the other person to struggle with it. I also want anyone on the receiving end to understand how much effort it took that survivor to come to you and take your role seriously.
Trafficking Happens In All The Places We Assume It Doesn’t
It happens everywhere, and if you don’t know anyone who was trafficked or survived sexual abuse or assault, it’s probably because you don’t seem like a safe person to talk to about it.
Although, if you’re reading this, you just got introduced to someone who was trafficked, Kathleen, by someone who survived sexual abuse and mental health issues, me. So now you do.
Thanks for reading. If you find this newsletter informative and helpful, spread the word. That’s the best way to say thank you for my weekly effort.
Thanks - really good stuff in here 🤍