Child Abuse and Mental Health Survivors Information - Issue #130
What happened to Nex Benedict is all too common
If you’re familiar with the story of transgendered teenager Nex Benedict, a who died shortly after being beaten by multiple girls in the school bathroom, you may know that the medical examiner has ruled the death a suicide.
Thank you for reading the Child Abuse and Mental Health Survivors newsletter. Each week, I share new blog posts and other resources that aim to help survivors of childhood abuse and those who are struggling with mental health issues feel less alone as we discuss the issues surrounding our issues.
For more information about me and why this newsletter exists visit the website - Child Abuse Survivor.
Unfortunately, the end of this story is all too common. In the wake of this news, I saw another article that sums up the plight of LGBTQ+ people in the US:
A Third of LGBTQ+ Youth Believe They Have a Low Life Expectancy. Here’s Why
They know. They know that even if they somehow manage to not be the victim of a violent crime, their risk of suicide is much higher than most.
That’s why learning that Nex didn’t die as a result of the violence but from suicide just made the story even sadder for me. Because it just goes to show what our society has done to our own children. Whether you understand what it means to be a member of the LGBTQ+ community or not, the fact is that we are on a path to exclude them, ostracize them, and scapegoat them for issues that they have little involvement with.
We don’t offer the support that could save their lives, we don’t provide unconditional love, we make fun. We pass laws that seek to make them small, if not invisible. We call them “filth.”
And then when we are confronted with the statistics about them dying by suicide, we shrug our shoulders.
If we truly view ourselves as advocates for suicide prevention that means advocating for laws and resources to prevent every suicide. If you can’t see this story in the same light as other suicides because Nex was trans, take a step back and recognize your bias.
Human life is human life and every one cut short because of suicide is a tragedy.
New from the Blogs
Sharing - Lifelong Imprints of Childhood
We hear stories about this all the time. If your parents constantly compare you to an older sibling who could do no wrong, you spend much of your adult life believing you are not enough. If you come from a family that didn't express emotion, you find it hard to be close to someone emotionally as an adult, and so on.
You take those messages about what is expected from your surroundings and adjust your behaviors and beliefs to fit in with them. It can be very difficult, not impossible, to overcome that and relearn a different message.
If this seems familiar to you, I want you to take the next step and imagine what kind of messages a survivor of childhood abuse carries from their childhood.
We haven't talked about it here recently, but I know a lot of abuse survivors are bombarded with messages about forgiveness. Some of those messages are awful, such as demanding we forgive our family members for their benefit; some are more well-meaning but not helpful.
What we don't hear often enough is that you can choose not to forgive, too.
Shared from Elsewhere
Have you been feeling it this week? - Why Daylight Saving Time Messes With Your Brain.
We’ve been told that kids are too fragile to learn the real history but it doesn’t appear to be true - No, An Anti-Racist Program in Schools Didn’t Stress Out Kids
This is an important topic with all the events we are living through. - The Impact of Collective Trauma and How Behavioral Health Organizations Can Help
This is a very good look at why myths about trafficking are harmful:
Speaking of a truth that has gone relatively unreported - Victims of Catholic nuns rely on each other after being overlooked in clergy sex abuse crisis.
When I used to travel for work all the time, my go-to statement about rest was that as long as I got six hours of sleep, I would be good to go. This might explain why I would crash for 10-12 hours every two weeks, even when I could grab six hours.
Why Six Hours Of Sleep Is As Bad As None At All
From the Archives
As much as we like to advocate that anyone dealing with depression, bipolar, etc come forward and let others know that they are not alone, we also have to face the reality that it’s not always safe for people to come forward.
A podcast interview I gave a few years back:
How Even Advocates Shame Victims
The abuse may not have been your fault, and all of us in the advocate community, and among your support network, will be quick to remind you of that. Unfortunately, you may also get more than a few messages from that same community that you are now, and will forever be, broken and damaged beyond repair.
Thanks for reading. If you find this newsletter informative and helpful to you, spread the word. That’s the best way you can say thank you for the effort I put in each week.