Child Abuse and Mental Health Survivors Information - Issue #145
In the middle of a long stretch and remembering why we rest
This week has been a whirlwind. In truth, I probably bit off more than I could chew, but you only live once, right?
It started last weekend, a 14 hour road trip from Louisiana to Ohio. I work remotely for a firm based in Ohio so while this trip was partially to see the Foo Fighters in Cincinnati, it also turned into spending time on a couple of our office locations, while also presenting a webinar, recording a podcast and being on deadline to finish presentation materials for a speaking engagement coming up in a couple of weeks, not to mention getting my day-to-day job done.
Thank you for reading the Child Abuse and Mental Health Survivors newsletter. Each week, I share new blog posts and other resources that aim to help survivors of childhood abuse and those who are struggling with mental health issues feel less alone as we discuss the issues surrounding our issues.
For more information about me and why this newsletter exists, visit the website - Child Abuse Survivor.
This weekend will be spent with my wife and friend in Ohio, meeting up with friends, exploring the sites, sharing our favorite places and food from our long time living in Ohio, etc.
It’s all good stuff, and I wouldn’t say no to any of it, but this link also sounds a lot like how I feel too - The Art of Doing Nothing: Embracing the Power of Rest.
It was an important reminder that as much fun as this is, it’s also not unusual that I’m looking at Sunday afternoon, after dropping my wife and friend at the airport, as a golden opportunity to do nothing. I’m staying in Ohio for a bit, it’s not a work day, and I won’t have anywhere to be. It’s my chance to rest and I don’t have to apologize for wanting it.
We all need our rest. No matter how busy your week has been, you don’t need an excuse to rest.
New from the Blogs
Sharing - The Importance of Role-Models for Survivors of Abuse
This is why having survivor voices is so important. When kids don't see anyone who's been through it and come out the other side, how would they know it's possible? I know it's not fun to talk about. I know it's a downer to listen to. But imagine a world where you lived through a traumatic and abusive childhood and didn't see anyone else who had a similar experience, leaving you with the impression that no one gets better.
Sharing - Teens feel less emotional support than their parents think they do, new report shows
I can't help but wonder how many of those teens who feel like they have no one to talk to about their emotions have parents who don't think their teen has emotional struggles because, surely, they would talk to their "supportive" parents.
I've mentioned before that in some of the worst of my mental health struggles, I had a manager who helped me manage the process and was incredibly supportive of me doing what I needed to do, and I later had a manager who made the entire thing awkward and unbearable for me. This was at the same company. Nothing about the rules or the program changed, but my manager did. That made all the difference between me staying and being productive and walking out the door.
Shared from Elsewhere
There is a lot of talk about social anxiety, but have you looked into the details of that definition? - What is social anxiety? It's common but it doesn't have to be debilitating.
There is also a lot of talk about young people, loneliness, and mental health. So much so, that we might forget that similar issues exist as people age and their support system gets smaller as well - Depression is not a normal part of aging. How staying engaged helps older adults remain healthy and avoid loneliness.
Try as we do, some things remain stigmatized, like going to therapy - Dispelling the Stigma Surrounding Psychotherapy
It’s not a cure-all, but I know I feel better when I spend time there. How about you? - The Awesome Mental Health Benefits of Being In or Near Water
If it’s not water, find the little things that help you - Using the Little Things to Cope with Depression
I know some of you can relate to this:
I agree with this opinion - it not always the case but there is a direct increase when children live in poverty. - The best way to reduce child abuse fatalities is to reduce poverty.
Not news to any of my regular readers - 'His acceptance changed everything': Why support matters when young people come out
How is the 988 hotline going? - A checkup for the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 2: Still lots to do
From the Archives
“Everybody assumes that other people are far more observant than they really are”
Quick Thought Number 1 – Scars
Physical scars are a sign that a person has overcome some difficulty. Mental and emotional scars aren’t visible in the same way, but the strength and resiliency are there just as much.
Let's face it, there's nothing comfortable about that subject. We don't want to talk about, think about, or even deal with it. Yet, there's a little boy who, while not out of the woods, has hope for the future because someone was able to have that conversation and make the decision to donate the organs of their child. I don't envy either of those families for the discussions they've been forced to have, the ideas they have had to think through, and the decisions they have had to make.
But they did it, and it has made a difference. Given that, as much as it might be a difficult thing to talk about, please consider organ donation and talk to your family so that they are familiar with your wishes.
All of this got me thinking about discussions we have or choose not to have.
I write often about mental health issues and child abuse. Both are topics that can be pretty uncomfortable to talk about. Dealing with both can be a very isolating and lonely experience. Mostly, that's because we don't like to talk about it. This week's events have once again reminded me what a difference talking about the things we are uncomfortable talking about can make.
Want to Support Someone But Don’t Know How, Maybe Just Try “Plus-One”
When you start a conversation, ask someone how their day is going on a scale of one to ten. Then ask them what you can do to “plus-one” that score?
What I love about this is how simple it is. Yes, it might seem silly. It might even seem like you’re making light of a difficult situation, so I would consider not using these exact words, but I love the idea because it forces me to think in terms of doing one thing to help instead of trying to take on everything! Far too often, when someone we care about is struggling with mental health issues, grief, loss, stress, etc., we default to either trying to fix all of it for them or realizing that we can’t fix all of it and defaulting to doing nothing.
Thanks for reading. If you find this newsletter informative and helpful, spread the word. That’s the best way to say thank you for my weekly effort.