Child Abuse and Mental Health Survivors Information - Issue #77
Some People Say Stupid Things
As someone who has spent plenty of time speaking in front of people for my day job, I try and give people grace about some of the dumb things that come out of our mouths. As I’ve said many times, speak in front of people long enough and you’re bound to say something monumentally dumb.
State Rep. Eastman from Alaska took that to a whole other level this week. If you haven’t heard his explanation of the “benefits” of fatal child abuse you can read more in the article below from the Today show website.
Alaska legislator argued child abuse deaths are a ‘benefit to society’
The reason I bring this up is that the writer, Danielle Campoamor, was kind enough to go looking for a survivor to react to the statements and found me on Instagram. She provided me with an amazing opportunity to remind survivors that we are not “damaged” beyond repair and a burden, but that we can, and often do, heal and live very meaningful and impactful lives.
I am very thankful for that chance and I hope you’ll share that message with the survivors in your life.
New from the Blogs
True Self-Care Is More Difficult Than We Make it Out to Be
We also need to talk about how to change the systems that make it impossbile for other people to make those same kinds of decisions. We need to talk about the fact that no amount of self-care will make the world non-racist. There's no self-care that women can do that will make the world safer for them, and no time spent relaxing will eliminate hatred towards LGBTQ people. Neuro-divergent people, those with disabilities, and countless other groups don't have fair access to make an income. An extra hour of sleep isn't going to fix that.
We Can Talk About Being Brave By Going Public and Also How Resources Aren't Available for Everyone
So yes, bravo to Senator Fetterman for seeking help, sharing his struggle publicly and even raising awareness and money for mental health resources.
Let's also talk about how many people don't have that option and do something about that too.
Sharing - What happens after you tell your story? That’s a story in itself
I've told people to share when they are ready, and they are ready when they can handle any response that the person they are sharing with might give them. Be careful selecting who you share with, and be thoughtful about how much you want to share and give them space to react the way they need to.
And if you feel strongly that you want to write a book, start a site like this, and hit social media and tell the world, make sure you are prepared for all of it. Because once it's out, you don't control it any longer.
Once you're sure though, tell your story for all the people who aren't ready yet.
Shared from Elsewhere
Why depression is like drowning - many people die from drowning because drowning doesn’t look like we think it should, so we miss the signs.
Why We're All Messed Up By Our Childhoods - an interesting look at how early childhood development is impacted by so many things because our perceptions are distorted by the reality of childhood. This doesn’t even include something traumatic like abuse, so imagine how distorted our view of the world can be?
Where There's Hope There's Life - speaking of the need to see hope instead of just damage, I wanted to share this as well.
How to Stop Taking Yourself so Seriously All The Time
With the constant need to do our daily tasks and fulfill all the responsibilities, the heaviness becomes too much, and we often forget to enjoy life’s little moments. But, is it worth it?
Also, for your reference:
From the Archives
Sharing – Psychological and Physiological Power of Validation
I talk often on here about simply being there. Sitting with someone who is struggling. Validation is all about that, and as you can read further, validating someone is maybe one of the best things you can do to keep open lines of communication, help them feel valued, and not dismiss their emotions.
Blaming the Victim or Soothing Our Own Anxiety?
It’s a tough thing to live with the knowledge that at any second, you could become a victim through no fault of your own. It’s scary, it can even be paralyzing. So we look for alternative realities. One of those is finding some “reason” why anyone becomes a victim, and convincing ourselves that that reason doesn’t apply to us, therefore we are safe.
But this is blaming the victim.
Until next week, when somehow it will already be March!