Child Abuse and Mental Health Survivors Information - Issue #139
High School Graduation Reminder About The Different Paths We Lead
This week, my niece graduated high school. As I saw in the audience and watched the ceremony, I was reminded of all the things she had to overcome to get here. Her story is not mine to tell, but she had health issues at birth and lots of challenging events that we’d consider when counting up her ACE score.
I am beyond proud of her for getting to her high school graduation.
Still, as I considered her path to graduation, I wondered about the other 300+ seniors in her class.
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Her class was very diverse. I sat there, wondering what obstacles some of these kids had to overcome to get here. What is their family like? Do they come from generations of college graduates, or will they be the first to attend college? Are both of their parents involved in their lives? Do they have extended family to help support them? How many live in poverty or deal with racism on a regular basis?
How many spent much of their childhood being abused?
For some of these kids, getting to graduation took a lot. For others, it might just be a step on the ladder of their life plans. Maybe college and post-graduate degrees are the expectation, and this graduation is a small step. For others, graduating is a significant accomplishment that allows them to go on to a career or a chance at a college education that was not a given.
What’s important on that night, though? Celebrating the kids who got here. Whether it’s a small step on the way to many other educational steps or a significant victory over obstacles, we celebrate victories.
As adults it’s important for us to remember that we celebrate victories. Big, small, relatively easy, or highly challenging. We celebrate our wins. We remember our wins. When we feel imposter syndrome and self-doubt creeping in we remember those wins we celebrated.
What are you celebrating this week?
New from the Blogs
Sharing - Practical tips if you find yourself doom-scrolling online news and social media
It isn't easy to know when to stop reading the news. The line between being informed and obsessed with it to the point of impacting our lives and mental health is a fine one. I struggle with it myself.
So, when I came across this resource, I thought it might be good to share.
Sharing - Does childhood adversity dilute life's meaning? New research reveals surprising findings.
It doesn't have to be a grand purpose either, just something that makes you want to return each day. It can be wanting to learn something new, be there for the important days for a friend or family member, see what happens with Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce, or whatever makes you want to get up the next day to be part of it. That moves us to healing, showing up for our lives each day. That, to me, is purpose. What keeps you here? What keeps you connected to other people?
Do more of that.
Sharing - Internet access is linked to higher well-being, new global study reveals
These observational studies clearly tell us that being online could be both good and bad for us, and that may depend on what kind of shape we were in when we opened the browser today and what we chose to do while online.
Shared from Elsewhere
This is an interesting look at what AI chatbots might be able to do in terms of interacting with people who might be lonely. I’m not convinced this is a solution, but seeing how people interact with new technology is always interesting. - The teens making friends with AI chatbots.
Mental health days: do they work? - It seems to be, maybe. Offering them in isolation may not do much, but they can be beneficial.
What are your rituals? - How Everyday Rituals Can Add Meaning to Your Life
The stories we tell ourselves about our traumatic childhood need to change. - Rewrite Your Story: Let Go of Mental Health Stigma and Shame.
Speaking of childhood trauma - How To Recognise Your Childhood Trauma (Heal Yourself Series 6)
You can help if you know what is happening - How to Spot Anxiety Disorders and Support Your Loved One.
Access to mental healthcare is especially poor for minorities and poor people. It means they are also likely to have poor health and suffer from increasing healthcare costs. - Mental health inequities cost U.S. $477 billion per year, report says.
From the Archives
Thoughts on Mother’s and Father’s Days
So, with Mother’s Day behind us, but Father’s Day coming up, I hope you will take the time to perhaps mourn for the lack of relationship you may have with a parent, but also choose to acknowledge the people around you who bring motherly nurturing, or fatherly guidance to you, no matter what their “relation” to you may be.
Link – When It Felt Like I Had No One to Reach Out To, I Found Support In Online Communities
I don’t necessarily think online communities can replace therapy and other forms of treatment, but I know for a fact they can augment it and have a huge impact.
Survivor, you are a whole human being. Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise. You’ve had something horrible happen to you, something that wasn’t your fault, and you didn’t ask for, but it’s now part of you. That sucks, but it is not “end of life as we know it”, or at least it doesn’t need to be. There is still plenty of life for you to live, despite the abuse. You will struggle, and grieve, and feel a lot of things because of the abuse. You are also capable of overcoming it. You are not “less than”. Do not allow anyone to dehumanize you that way.
Thanks for reading. If you find this newsletter informative and helpful, spread the word. That’s the best way to say thank you for my weekly effort.