Child Abuse and Mental Health Survivors Information - Issue #110
It'll be Holiday Season Soon
Thank you for reading the Child Abuse and Mental Health Survivors newsletter. Each week I share new blog posts and other resources that aim to help survivors of childhood abuse and those who are struggling with mental health issues feel less alone as we discuss the issues surrounding our issues. If you’ve tried to follow the resources I share on social media and find that the algorithm has decided for you to not show you the things we post, this is the best way to get caught up each week.
For more information about me and why this newsletter exists visit the website - Child Abuse Survivor.
As my wife and I were walking through Costco last night, I couldn’t help but notice all of the Christmas decorations available. Like, ALL the decorations. It’s not even Halloween, but retail-wise it’s been Christmas for at least the last 3-4 weeks already.
This got me thinking about the insane expectations society places on the holiday season. I’ve always argued that for many abuse survivors who do not have fond family holiday memories, or even a family they want to spend time with for holidays, they should just spend the day doing something else. Enjoy the day off from work by watching Netflix, or working on some personal projects, hobbies, etc. Instead of it being “The big family day!”, make it a free day.
But, last night was a stark reminder of how hard that is when all of society spends months leading up to the holidays telling you how you should be planning for the holidays. Yuck.
I can’t change that for all of you, but I do want you to know that you’re not alone in the holiday struggle season. So if your holiday celebrations don’t look like what you see on TV on in Norman Rockwell paintings, just know that no one else’s does either. Not really. So spend them in a way that makes you happy, and celebrate what you have with who you have. I’ll celebrate the fact that we’re all still here and still standing. That’s enough.
On a scale of 1-10, how much are you dreading the rest of the year? What are you planning to get through the holidays?
New from the Blogs
Happiness Lab on How to Make Friends and Compliment People
Over the weekend I listened to this episode of the Happiness Lab podcast and I wanted to share it because I think Dr. Santos and her guests hit on some pretty interesting topics. Specifically, I felt like this was some more scientific evidence for how small actions, like compliments, can create a connection between people and make both the giver and the receiver, happier.
John Stamos is 60 and Just Now Revealing his Sexual Abuse
Remember, he's sixty years old and just now disclosing about abuse that occurred when he was 10 or 11.
That's not a knock on John. This is quite normal for male survivors. That's what I want you to learn from this news cycle.
Sharing - 22 Types of Childhood Verbal Abuse and Their Recognition
The problem we've already had with emotional abuse is identified in the quote. It's not precisely defined. Heck, one could argue that verbal abuse should fall under emotional abuse. We don't know. What we do know is that yelling at kids, putting them down, and the full 22-item list in the link below does harm to children. How much harm, and what level of verbal abuse causes that harm, is maybe a bit of a mystery, but there's definitely harm.
Linked - Looking for a Job While the World is Falling Apart
The difference between being informed and being overwhelmed often comes down to being able to turn the news off, set boundaries around our social media use, and so on. But it can be especially difficult to do that when your day isn't filled with things you have to do.
Shared from Elsewhere
This is timely, and has been timely for the last few years - How to Protect Your Mental Health From Stressful News Cycles
This too -
A little book review you might be interested in - "Coyote Queen" by Jessica Vitalis: A captivating novel exploring domestic violence that illuminates the path to hope and overcoming
We know too much stress is bad for us, but how bad? - How stress weathers our bodies, causing illness and premature aging
What can we do for our mental health? Share and connect:
The Power of Sharing: How Personal Stories Can Inspire Mental Health Recovery
Building Connections: How Relationships and Time with Peers Can Improve Mental Health
From the Archives
What Future Do Kids Have If Mental Health Care Bankrupts Their Families?
We have to face the fact that, as much as we might not openly admit it, we live in a society where kids with mental illness have very little hope, and we don’t care enough to change that. They, their parents, and their siblings are “others” that we’d rather not be bothered with. Societally, we’d rather they went away than be bothered with figuring out ways to help them.
Sharing – Mental health requires more than hashtags and hotlines
So, by all means, continue to take part in all of the days dedicated to abuse and mental health. Take advantage of the opportunity to share your own story, and maybe even remind people around you that they too, know someone dealing with mental health issues. But also remember how much more there is to do.
Thanks for reading. If you find this newsletter informative and helpful to you, spread the word. That’s the best way you can say thank you for the effort I put in each week.