Child Abuse and Mental Health Survivors Information - Issue #117
A little later this Friday due to Peopling exhaustion
I took on a new position about three months ago, working remotely like I have been for the last four years. This week, however, was my first trip up to the office to meet much of the team for the first time, but also reconnect with coworkers whom I knew from my previous time at this firm, 12 years ago.
There was a lot of anxiety leading up to this week, and there was even plenty of anxiety during the week. Tonight, as I get ready to turn in for the night, I can honestly say that I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. I can also say it was exhausting.
Thank you for reading the Child Abuse and Mental Health Survivors newsletter. Each week I share new blog posts and other resources that aim to help survivors of childhood abuse and those who are struggling with mental health issues feel less alone as we discuss the issues surrounding our issues.
For more information about me and why this newsletter exists visit the website - Child Abuse Survivor.
Thus the reason this is being sent to you on Friday night instead of our normal Friday morning schedule. With the firm holiday party coming today, I didn’t have the mental focus or energy to finish it up last night. Please forgive me, but also allow me to take this moment to be honest and vulnerable.
My social anxiety has gotten significantly worse over the last few years. Some of that is because working from home gives me far fewer opportunities to practice those social skills, but much more of it is related to things far more complicated than that. I’ve always been an introvert, and have always needed time away from people to recharge, but in the last few years that anxiety level has reached a point where I’m often so burned out from people before I even spend time with them. And yet, I know I need to invest in relationships. I need my friends. Professionally, I also know that I need to work with a variety of people and this week was a good opportunity to bond a little bit, and help build those relationships.
None of that makes it easy.
As I mentioned, for the most part, I enjoyed myself. I think this trip was well worth it. That won’t stop me from being incredibly anxious again the next time I’m up for an office visit. It’s the nature of the anxiety beast, and no amount of telling me to think differently is going to stop it. There will always be negative thoughts and potential failures rattling around in my head. I don’t think they’ll ever go away completely. I’m just learning how to live with them.
New from the Blogs
Sharing - What Is Familial Sexual Grooming?
Consider how often a child is not believed because the family friend or member "doesn't seem like the type?"
That's familial grooming. That is getting the family to see you as one thing when you are targeting a child in that family, thereby not only giving you access to the child but creating doubt about whether their own child is telling the truth. It also doesn't help that so many of us think we know what a predator looks like, and are so easily fooled.
Stories Can Help Eliminate Mental Health Stigma, But Is The Workplace A Safe Place to Share Yours?
Bosses, ask yourself the question. Is this a safe place for people to talk about their mental health? If it's not, what can you do to change that? The article above has some advice for you. Maybe it all comes down to the kind of people who work for you and the behavior that you tolerate. If someone is honest about their mental health struggles and then you allow them to be stigmatized by others, it's not a safe place.
And if it's not a safe place, your wellbeing program doesn't matter.
Sharing - Do Christmas your way
That's all the day needs to be: a day to spend however you like. Forget the Hallmark movies, the Thomas Kincaide paintings, and the media messages about spending the day with a big family gathering. Just give yourself the gift of a day doing what makes you happy and content.
Shared from Elsewhere
We know it’s a huge problem, interesting to see different approaches to solving it - 'Project UnLonely' offers a road map to create connections and combat loneliness
It’s an interesting question - Why elderly men have the highest rates of suicides.
And while we are on the topic - Eliminating the stigma surrounding suicide.
This is also a huge problem - Survey: Psychologists keep long waitlists as they struggle to meet demand
We say it all the time, the “positive vibes only” crowd is toxic - It doesn’t make you stronger or teach you lessons: Making up reality with toxic positivity that damages mental health
From the Archives
Why Are We Lonely, It’s Too Easy to Let Things Slide
Today, sadly, I saw a social media post about the passing of someone’s old friend, and her regret at “trying to get together” without actually managing to do it, and now they’re gone. It touched me, it broke my heart to know that this happened. Again, I share this not to shame anyone, but because I’m also guilty. It reminded me of how many people I’ve been “meaning” to send a note to, or chat with. What promise do I have that I’ll be able to do that tomorrow, next week, or “after the holidays”?
Some Concrete Ways You Can Support Someone Struggling With Their Mental Health
Often we avoid someone who we know is struggling because we are uncomfortable, not knowing what to do to help them. Well, here you go. Here are 21 things you can do. If you’re in proximity to the person, you can help them with necessary chores like laundry or grocery shopping, or simply accompany them on a walk. If you are maintaining contact with them at a distance, you can still have coffee together, offer a safe place to vent, or assist them with medicine copays.
Thanks for reading. If you find this newsletter informative and helpful to you, spread the word. That’s the best way you can say thank you for the effort I put in each week.