Child Abuse and Mental Health Survivors Information - Issue #65
Find the light even on cloudy days
I took this on Thanksgiving Day in the US, and shared it. As I said last week, holidays can be tough for many of us. We have Hallmark movies and Norman Rockwell-type images thrown at us starting pretty much on November 1st and they’ll continue right on through New Year’s Eve despite the fact that almost no one has an actual holiday that looks like that. It can be overwhelmingly sad to feel like we are missing out on the happy family all together celebrating the day.
So, instead of focusing on all the things we don’t have, let’s find the little bit of light, even if that light is nothing more than acknowledging that we are still here and we are not alone.
New From the Blogs
Self Love Is a Struggle Because We Know Our Own Faults
“We never get to see the thoughts of other people if they choose not to share them. We see ALL of our own thoughts, however. That puts us at a disadvantage when it comes to deciding what we “deserve” compared to others. We might do well to assume that everyone has the same kind of thoughts that we do at times because we all do. We just don’t talk about them and share them with the world. (Most of us anyway)
And, we all deserve self-care.”
When Triggered Some of Us Become Different People
“When in an extreme emotional state, we have the capacity to act like a different person. We all do. The problem comes from the fact that we don’t know that person. We are not good at predicting how we will react. When we are in a cool state, the warm state version of us makes no sense, and how we think we’ll act turns out not to be the reality of what happens at all.”
“We do need each other. There is no replacement for the support of another human being, regardless of what that support might look like. Just not being left alone with our struggles is a source of support.
This then brings Ben to another important point. Imagine if we all had a modicum of education about mental health and could not only show up for each other but show up with some educated actions to take.”
Shared From Elsewhere
What people fail to understand about the dangers of loneliness
“Even before the pandemic, there was growing concern about the rise of loneliness.
After Covid-19, the problem is impossible to ignore. Social scientists have quantified the physical effects of being lonely, and the upshots are alarming: social isolation has an effect on health comparable to that of high blood pressure, obesity, or smoking.”
“When I had nothing but my mental health struggles, I had writing. I had no answers. I had no knowledge of how to fix or stop my pain. I only had emotions simultaneously carving out and bursting from my aching chest, so I tried to put them into words. In doing so, without knowing it, I was writing my way to recovery.”
Why You Need Privacy- Because We All Have Something to Hide
“I’ve been in contact with readers of my own blog who won’t, or can’t “like” it on Facebook or follow it on Twitter in any public way, for fear of repercussion, especially minors who are being abused! They need privacy. It’s an absolute requirement and something I think about all the time.”
Best Things People Learned From Their Therapist
“Reddit user u/abovepeach recently asked, "What is something your therapist said that sticks with you to this day?" Here are a few responses”
The best mental health books for kids
Because it’s never too early to learn about mental health.
Also, a new magazine:
Here are a couple of links to some interesting research if you’ve got some time:
What science has shown can help young people with anxiety and depression
From the Archives
“Look, there’s a reason why when someone dies, people bring food. They know that getting groceries and fixing dinner for the kids is the last thing on your mind, so they take care of that for you. They can’t fix what happened, but they can allow you to grieve without worrying about what’s for dinner. If you are close to a survivor, and see them struggling with their past, aside from being there to listen, and support them as much as you can, maybe simply taking a thing or two off their to-do list would do much more good than you can possibly imagine.
It certainly can’t hurt, and doing something is better than feeling helpless. Give it a try.”
“And the thing is like that pebble dropped in the water, the only thing that breaks up those concentric circles is something else hitting the water. Ignoring it doesn’t do much. The circles will keep going for quite a long time. Refusing to acknowledge them because you don’t want to be impacted by them in your own life, does nothing either. They are still there, and they are absolutely impacting your life. You’re making decisions on how to avoid the impacts and that is an impact.
No, the easiest way to break up those circles, as any kid who threw rocks into the water can tell you, is to throw another rock and create new concentric circles starting from a different location.
Gee, in my metaphor about the trauma I wonder what those other rocks could be? Mental health treatment? Care and support from family and friends? The elimination of stigma attached to trauma?”