Child Abuse and Mental Health Survivors Information - Issue #124
Overwhelming Information
The other day as my wife and I were discussing plans for an upcoming trip, I just kind of shut down. Not because we are planning something unenjoyable or that I dread, but because the amount of information and number of options was overwhelming and my brain just stopped caring.
I, literally, reached a point where I couldn’t care less because my ability to care had reached a saturation point.
Thank you for reading the Child Abuse and Mental Health Survivors newsletter. Each week, I share new blog posts and other resources that aim to help survivors of childhood abuse and those who are struggling with mental health issues feel less alone as we discuss the issues surrounding our issues.
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I think dealing with anxiety can be a lot like that. I know being an introvert can be a lot like that too. I suspect being neurodivergent does too. You just hit that wall. You can no longer take any more in and you shut down.
And then people get angry at us for shutting down and we beat ourselves up for not being stronger. For the record, my wife didn’t, she knows the signs and we paused the conversation until another time. But not everyone does that.
Maybe we can give people the benefit of the doubt and the space to shut down when it all seems too much, because honestly, looking out at the world today seems all too much.
How are you coping with it all?
New from the Blogs
Responses to Elmo Show How Traumatized Many of Us Are, And How Few People We Can Talk To About It
What I find interesting about this, beyond the obvious take that many people out there are not doing well, is that if you asked this same question to many of your friends, coworkers, and acquaintances, you probably wouldn't see the same thing. There's something about trauma-dumping to a fictional character that allows us to be honest without fear that we are too much for people to deal with. I worry about it all the time. If you asked me how I am on any given day, 99% of the time, I'd say something like "Not bad." I might admit to struggling the other one percent of the time, but also probably downplay it.
Let me tell you a secret. I struggle much more than one percent of the time. I also don't want people to worry about me, and I don't want my struggles to be too much for the people in my life. I make my emotions small to protect other people. I know I'm not the only one.
UK Study Shows Online Therapy Works as Well As In-Person and Why That Matters
They need to be better about that if we are going to make any kind of dent in the mental healthcare accessibility problem. Online therapy can be a difference maker if it can help people quicker and cheaper and with the same effectiveness. Those are the keys right now to improving the care system for all of us.
Sharing - What the Most Common Advice About Grief Gets So Wrong
Let people know that you are there for them, share your memories of the person they've lost, and allow them the space to grieve. That's all that is required of you. Fixing someone else's grief, just like healing their trauma, isn't possible. It's not your job. Your job is to keep the space open for them to heal.
Can you keep that space and be uncomfortable with them?
Linked - Can remote work cause depression?
The most important thing is recognizing what works for you. Working from home opens up opportunities to people who can't, for many reasons, travel to an office every day. It can, however, be lonely at times. Finding the right balance is key. Finding the places where you can still connect with people outside of work is key. You're no longer spending a third of your day in the same location as your coworkers and connecting by default. Still, you can connect and be more involved in your community because you're not spending another couple of hours commuting. You can spend more time with your family.
Shared from Elsewhere
Whether it’s Elmo or someone else - Time to Talk Day: The importance of talking about our feelings
Adoption isn’t something I’ve given a lot of thought to when it comes to mental health, despite the fact that I have an adopted nephew. If you’re like me in that regard this might be worth your time to consider - Mental Health Effects Of Being Adopted
Would it change the way you think about it to know that 70% of people might suffer from imposter syndrome?
The title really speaks for itself - Navigating the Abyss: Finding Light When You’re Losing Hope
Some interesting thoughts from Roisin McBride (no relation) - 5 Pillars of Wellbeing
Not mentioned specifically in Roisin’s list, but a pillar of self-care according to Maribel Rivera that I happen to agree with - Giving Ourselves Flowers: Celebrating Our Worth
We know that we all need better connections to overcome loneliness and isolation, but maybe we also need a more diverse set of connections, too?
From the Archives
Why Think About Abusers? Because It Wasn’t Your Fault
They can look at the larger picture, that the abuser was going to abuse due to reasons that had nothing to do with the survivor at all, the only thing they “did” to attract this abuse was exist in the path of the abuser. In essence, this was a storm that was coming, and it was going to hit someone. It wasn’t your fault it hit you.
What I learned from my husband's suicide | Lori Prichard
And really, when you put those two things together, your own brain telling you that you're weak, and that it's really just repeating the same things we hear from society at large, and people all around us, every day, is it any wonder we have become so good at hiding it that someone like Lori would not know her husband was depressed?
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