Child Abuse and Mental Health Survivors Information - Issue #68
Have a wonderful holiday weekend
A few years ago I wrote this on my blog and I think it’s still the appropriate sentiment that I want to share with you all:
Regardless of how you spend this coming holiday, I wish you peace, hope, and happiness.
Remember, no matter what is going on in your life this holiday season, you are not alone. Healing is possible for all survivors, and all people dealing with mental health issues. This holiday may not find you where you want to be, but the journey to that goal is ongoing, and you can get there.
In the mean time, take a moment to give yourself credit for being here. Personally, I am grateful that you are.
If you want to give me a gift, share this newsletter with someone you know who could use a weekly reminder that they are not alone. You never know how much it might help them, and it’s the only way the word gets spread, when folks who care are willing to share.
New From the Blogs
“How often, as children, did we decide to “fly under the radar” and not draw attention to something that brought us happiness because that just created a target? How many of us, as adults, still live with the fear that identifying something that makes us happy only invites someone to hurt us by taking it away? Even when there is no one there to take it, we live with that fear and don’t get too attached to anything.”
Sharing – Who Gets to Be Mentally Ill?
“So, someone like me, a middle-aged, professional, white male, can talk about struggling and get encouragement, pointed to good resources that are affordable for me, and there’s hope that I’ll get better. Someone living near poverty will say the same thing, and we start looking at whether they should have their kids removed from the home or how we can keep them away from a “safe” society.
It gets worse if they are not white and/or have a more serious mental health issue.”
Sharing – Supporting Your New Partner if They Are A Survivor
“I like to think that survivors are worth the effort, and my wife has confirmed that at least our relationship is worth it. It requires honesty and openness that may be new to survivors, but it’s the only way forward.
The dynamics of a non-romantic friendship might be different, but my best friends are people who know and respect my boundaries. Usually, once I explain to them, they understand and are willing to work with me—those who aren’t don’t remain friends very long.
Importantly, I have also to be understanding of them and their boundaries. Everyone deserves that respect in a relationship.”
Shared from Elsewhere
9 Healthy Habits for Managing Holiday Stress
“When the festive season feels more overwhelming than it does joyful, your holiday stress level could be at its max. But practicing self-care and delegating responsibilities may help you cope.”
Also on the holiday theme:
Surviving Painful Holiday Emotions
How to Prioritize Self-Care During the Holidays
Understanding the mental health crisis afflicting American teens
“Rates of depression, anxiety, self-harm and suicide have risen in recent years. NY Times reporter Matt Richtel says we lack the therapists and treatment centers to care for teens who are suffering.”
The 9 Best Mental Health Books of 2022
“Mental health books can teach you new skills, offer support, and help you along your healing and self-discovery journeys.”
From the Archives
The Truth Is, We Aren’t OK and Probably Won’t Be For Awhile
“This is not a time to feel alone. This is a time to come together and help bridge the massive gaps that exist for mental health treatment and support in our society. Maybe we can’t magically make thousands of new therapists appear, or create the magic app that will offer the perfect AI-based therapy, but we can certainly offer up our honesty and our struggles to each other.
So yeah, it’s going to be a while before we are OK again, but we’re muddling through together and that’s something.”
“The reality is that sports has become a way out of poverty for some, a way to fame for others, and a way for kids of all talent levels to “fit in” with their team. Being successful in Olympic and professional sports requires recognizing talent early and developing it. Sometimes the difference between getting a college scholarship and having to struggle through college is the coaching a kid gets at 13-14 years old.
I’m not here to claim that is a bad thing.
I will, however, point out that this is an arena that was always bound to attract pedophiles, and clearly, we did not do enough to stay aware of that fact.”
The Day Everything Changes, but You Won’t Notice
“That day is today—the December solstice.
Here in the Northern Hemisphere, it’s the year's shortest day. (As defined by hours of daylight, obviously.) For my readers in the Southern hemisphere, it’s the opposite. It’s the longest day. (Enjoy the summer, my Aussie friends!)
So in a very scientific and real way, today is when we switch from the days getting shorter and shorter to the days getting longer and longer.
But I would like to challenge you to notice the difference right away. You won’t.”