Child Abuse and Mental Health Survivors Information - Issue #102
Basic Human Dignity
Thank you for reading the Child Abuse and Mental Health Survivors newsletter. Each week I share new blog posts and other resources that aim to help survivors of childhood abuse and those who are struggling with mental health issues feel less alone as we discuss the issues surrounding our issues. If you’ve tried to follow the resources I share on social media and find that the algorithm has decided for you to not show you the things we post, this is the best way to get caught up each week.
For more information about me and why this newsletter exists visit the website - Child Abuse Survivor.
The TedTalk above is from 2017. Sally talks about losing her brother to suicide, but also the stigma he had to deal with as someone with Bipolar Disorder inside of outside of the mental healthcare system. As she says “What if we saw people instead of a diagnosis?”
I recently saw this talk linked somewhere, and though I’d seen it before I watched again to remind myself of her message. To remind myself of the importance of telling our stories, as fellow human beings.
It’s now 2023, and I think this is still an important message. There are too many people being dumped into groups that are considered “less” than. People who don’t deserve dignity because they are not like us. That can cut across racial and gender, sexuality, etc. It can also cut across issues like mental health and trauma. How many times do we need to hear that child abuse victims are “damaged for life” before we realize that we are not treating them with dignity. We are not seeing a person, just their trauma.
And, how many of us take that to heart and see ourselves as our trauma, instead of a human being with dignity?
New from the Blogs
Book Review of Sorts - Quit: The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away
For many survivors, their definition of healed automatically becomes a goal that cannot ever be reached. We should quit trying to "be the person I was before the abuse" because it's impossible. By setting that as our pass/fail goal we sentence ourselves to a lifetime of falling short, instead of a lifetime of celebrating the gap between where were started and where we are today. We also never find a better goal that is more realistic.
Please, take a good look at how you are defining healed. More importantly, don't lose sight of the amount of healing and growth that you've already done. Be proud of it. This is your life, it's not a pass/fail exam. It's so much bigger than that.
The US is an Outlier As Suicide Rates Move Higher
If we want to be serious about suicide prevention, we need to be serious about guns. Right now, we aren't serious about guns, which begs the question of whether we are serious about suicide prevention.
Sharing - Why a stranger's hello can boost your well-being: The power of weak social ties
The math seems pretty simple here. We lose nothing by being kind and friendly. We might all gain enough to prevent the loss of another life. Suicide Prevention might involve some huge programs and resources, but it can start right here in how we interact with even our most casual connections.
Shared from Elsewhere
People are often confused about how therapy can help - The Role Of Therapy In Overcoming Childhood Neglect And Trauma
Hardest Parts of Bipolar Disorder- I don't talk about Bipolar often, because I don't have Bipolar, and I'd rather link to people with lived experience, like this.
Not being connected to other people is not good for us, in so many ways - Loneliness in adulthood tied to accelerated brain aging, new research reveals
What seems like a never-ending series of articles about this problem - Men and Mental Health
Something worth considering - World Senior Citizens' Day: Signs of mental illness in elderly
Always an important message for survivors - I Survived, So Can You!
From the Archives
I don’t feel uncomfortable talking about it, I feel uncomfortable forcing other people to deal with the knowledge.
Abusers and the Halo Effect – Jared Fogle Seemed Like Such a Good Guy
We know that most children are abused by someone they know and trust, someone known to the family. We also tend to describe abusers in monstrous terms. When we think someone has abused a child, the devil effect plays on our mind and the picture we paint is someone very anti-social, creepy, violent, and sub-human.
On the other end of the spectrum, when we see people who don't fit that "type" in our mind, we assume they aren't abusers, but there is no logical reason to assume that. In fact, getting into a position of trust with a child, and their family, requires quite a lot of positive traits; warmth, a sense of humor, being socially adept, athletic, etc. That's how abusers get access to children with otherwise very protective parents, and it's how even when caught, some abusers get fairly light sentences if any at all. They just don't seem like the kind of person who would hurt a child.
Sharing – Science Says People Like You More Than You Know
There’s a good chance that people really do like you, and want to be connected in some way to you. And we know, the biggest tool we have in dealing with mental health issues is human connections.
Thanks for reading. If you find this newsletter informative and helpful to you, spread the word. That’s the best way you can say thank you for the effort I put in each week.