Child Abuse and Mental Health Survivors Information - Issue #106
You can't go back, but you can learn to go forward.
Thank you for reading the Child Abuse and Mental Health Survivors newsletter. Each week I share new blog posts and other resources that aim to help survivors of childhood abuse and those who are struggling with mental health issues feel less alone as we discuss the issues surrounding our issues. If you’ve tried to follow the resources I share on social media and find that the algorithm has decided for you to not show you the things we post, this is the best way to get caught up each week.
For more information about me and why this newsletter exists visit the website - Child Abuse Survivor.
I saw this post on Instagram recently and found the message relatable. I’ve mentioned this on the blog before, but I get so tired of hearing people talk about healing from abuse being all about getting back to the person I was before the abuse. I was 9 when the sexual abuse started. It’s not possible for to go back to being a nine year-old.
That’s a ridiculous suggestion.
What helped me as an adult wasn’t trying to “get back” to the person I was without abuse, it was a therapist who was the first person in my life to help me define the life I wanted and learn how to navigate that. It was that simple. That was my definition of healing and it’s worked for me ever since.
Please stop telling people that they aren’t “healed” until the abuse isn’t part of them. We can’t go back to that, but we can absolutely move forward.
How are you moving forward this week?
New from the Blogs
We Still Have to Talk about Why Sexual Assault Victims, Including Kids, Don't Come Forward
Never mind the fact that they might have tried to tell someone and got shut down.
Never mind the fact that they might have told someone who didn't believe them
Never mind the fact that telling someone is going to create a massive conflict within their own family.
Never mind the fact that it's extremely unlikely that any sort of conviction will occur if they tell the police.
Never mind the fact that they will now, and maybe forever, be seen as damaged goods by a large segment of society.
Never mind that no matter how heinous the crime, they'll have to answer question after question about what they did to provoke it.
Obviously, waiting only proves that it's not true, right? Because going public is easy.
Sharing - Tips for dealing with anxiety, the 'check engine light' of the brain
I love thinking about anxiety as the check engine light. It fits if we think about it, because sometimes that light tells us that there's something wrong, but sometimes the light itself is malfunctioning.
Two Reviews Elsewhere - Breaking Through Depression; The Balanced Brain
The Guardian uses these two books as a jumping-off point to discuss depression and what we know.
Sharing - A comment shouted from a stranger in a passing car saved her life
We don't always know what impact our small actions will have. It might feel like it's not enough and maybe even not worth doing, but to this woman that small action meant everything in that moment. If we take away anything from her story it should be that no matter how insignificant that small action might seem to you, do it anyway. There's no downside, only the possibility that it will make a difference to someone.
Shared from Elsewhere
Why We Need to Talk About Mental Illness With Gabe Howard - If you’re looking for a good podcast episode.
This is also an interesting listen - Family Panel Discussion - Supporting a Child, Teen, or Young Person in Crisis
This is a positive development - 988 mental health crisis line launches American Sign Language services for callers who are deaf and hard of hearing.
I know a few folks who have done gratitude journaling, but has anyone tried this? - Vent Writing Allows You To Let It All Out in Private
I have seen many an article talking about becoming a mother and losing touch with friends other than other moms. That’s a serious issue, but we shouldn’t lose sight of this too - Male loneliness epidemic: How fathers face a friendship deficit
It’s a good question - Why don't we talk about suicide? Preventing suicide
CPTSD In The Workplace: Creating Connection - How do I connect with my team when CPTSD makes it difficult to connect with people?
From the Archives
How Should Joe Paterno Be Remembered?
Most of all, let his legacy be that doing some good things doesn’t make anyone incapable of also doing bad things. When the evidence is in front of you, or a child is telling you, don’t fail them. We can argue forever about whether JoePa was good or evil, but in the end, if we don’t learn this lesson from his life, this discussion doesn’t mean a thing.
Review – Your Life After Trauma by Michele Rosenthal
Once the reader accepts the core truth that they can’t go back to life before trauma, then the book will take them through the next steps; looking at who they were before the trauma, who they are now, and who they want to be. There are plenty of steps to each of those three processes, but again, the book has you covered, with tips and tricks on getting to the “post-trauma identity”.
Why Did So Many Adults Minimize the Abuse in US Gymnastics?
It feels safer to us to consider sexual abuse as something that happens “out there”, with strangers who abduct children from mall parking lots and playgrounds. Not the nice people in our own circles, circles that are safe, secure, and do not have to deal with this kind of drama. Circles we would like to keep that way, at almost any cost.
Thanks for reading. If you find this newsletter informative and helpful to you, spread the word. That’s the best way you can say thank you for the effort I put in each week.