Child Abuse and Mental Health Survivors Information - Issue #111
It's learning and unlearning
Thank you for reading the Child Abuse and Mental Health Survivors newsletter. Each week I share new blog posts and other resources that aim to help survivors of childhood abuse and those who are struggling with mental health issues feel less alone as we discuss the issues surrounding our issues. If you’ve tried to follow the resources I share on social media and find that the algorithm has decided for you to not show you the things we post, this is the best way to get caught up each week.
For more information about me and why this newsletter exists visit the website - Child Abuse Survivor.
The Instagram post above is very true. We often think of “healing” in terms of getting rid of the virus that is infecting us and back to ourselves, but we don’t stop to consider how much healing from childhood trauma is more than that. It’s also about learning the skills we missed out on when we were existing in survival mode.
That’s important, and a key component of that is unlearning too. Especially when we identify so strongly with survival mode because it kept us safe. In my day job I am tasked with doing training quite often, and I find myself being reminded in that world how much you have to unlearn. I recently shared this article and I think it applies to these coping skills we learned as children:
There’s power in moving beyond our coping skills, but we have to unlearn that dependence we’ve had on them for so long first.
What coping skills served you well as a child but had to be unlearned as an adult?
New from the Blogs
The Thing You Enjoy, Can Just be Enjoyed
Now replace the word "pictures" in the link above with whatever you love. Do it not because anyone needs to be impressed or pay you for it, or it'll advance your career, and make you look good to your peers, but just because it's fun.
As I read the rest of her insights, I realized this is where it all starts. We don't have a mental health care system. If we had some semblance of a system the other four insights would go without saying. We'd see mental health patients as human beings, we would listen to them about their lived experiences, we'd have support systems for families, and we'd understand that despite all the effort and love put in, some people would still lose the battle, just like we do with cancer and every other illness.
Shared from Elsewhere
Text a Friend… Right Now! - Worth a listen and to spend some time thinking about why he hesitate to say hello so often.
Something else worth listening to - I'm Listening: Exploring Children’s Mental Health with AFSP
More on connection being the key to our mental health -
Social Connections And Senior Health: The Importance Of Friendship
Embracing the Magic of Micro-Moments of Connection: Nurturing Relationships
Community: A Key to Healing Childhood Sexual Abuse Survivors
There could be a theme going here. This could also fall under the connection banner, in terms of being that community for someone - Supporting Someone With Depression: Practical Ways to Offer Help
I shared a post I wrote last week about verbal abuse, so this also caught my eye this week - The Long-Term, Underappreciated Damage of Verbal Abuse
From the Archives
Abuse Disrupts the Normal Development Cycle
I don't want to speak for every survivor, but in my case, the depression and suicide attempt in my twenties was absolutely a result of my not knowing how to be an adult. When things got stressful, I shutdown, just like I did as a kid being abused. I hadn't learned anything else!
When You're A Kid You Don't Know It Happens To Anyone Else
At age 11, of course, we think we are the only people in the world dealing with this, how would we know any different?
We'd know if there were more people willing to tell their stories and make sure others know they are not alone, and that there is hope.
Sharing - Our Brains Were Not Built for This Much Uncertainty
Of course, any article that also encourages candor during difficult times is going to be on my recommended reading list, so definitely think about how honesty with each other can help all of us deal with our uncertainty a bit better.
Thanks for reading. If you find this newsletter informative and helpful to you, spread the word. That’s the best way you can say thank you for the effort I put in each week.