2026 is Nine Days Old and We've Never Needed Each Other More
Child Abuse Survivor - Issue #181
Since this is the first newsletter of 2026, I would normally welcome you to the new year and maybe even talk about what we can look forward to this year.
Not this year.
We’ve already seen news cycles that only serve to deepen fear, hatred, and abuse of power. I’m not feeling very positive about the state of my country this week. I feel very much like I did after Jan 6, 2021. Hopeless and helpless.
Seeing this post from 2023 has been encouraging, though. It served to remind me of how to get through what I’m feeling:
What Matters Most for our Mental Health? Each Other
Thank you for reading the Child Abuse and Mental Health Survivors newsletter. Each week, I share new blog posts and other resources that aim to help survivors of childhood abuse and those who are struggling with mental health issues feel less alone as we discuss the issues surrounding our issues.
For more information about me and why this newsletter exists, visit the website, Child Abuse Survivor.
To quote from the interview:
If people could change one thing in their lives to be happier, what should they choose, according to the data?
WALDINGER: They should invest in their relationships with other people. We found that the strongest predictors of who not just stayed happy but who was healthy as they went through life - the strongest predictors were the warmth and the quality of their relationships with other people.
When I look at where we are as a country, I’m comforted by knowing that I am not alone, I’m encouraged by my community, by the quality of people in my life.
I’m also very wary. For two reasons. The first is that US culture is designed to do the opposite of fostering community:
The second is tribalism and stigma. Later, you will see a link to a piece I wrote this week about stigma. In it, I describe the understanding that stigma isn’t just about assuming someone deserves something bad; it’s about me not deserving it, so I’m safe from it. It’s a mental fragility that cannot accept that the world isn’t fair and that something bad could happen to me, too.
That kind of fragility forces us to believe things that are obviously not true, but our faith cannot be shaken. It’s too dangerous. We cannot accept the stigma of disagreeing with our tribe, so we believe anything, even when it’s obvious we are being lied to.
Feeling empathy is hard. Sharing someone else’s trauma and fear is too scary. It’s easier to find a reason to avoid feeling any of that. Creating a culture that fears others is the opposite of a healthy community. It’s damaging to mental health. It encourages isolation and loneliness. It breeds violence.
None of that changes the reality, though. We require community and relationships for our mental health. If you want to find the reasons for the explosion in mental health struggles, look at how few of us have good relationships. That’s a much larger problem than the ones politicians are talking about.
Related reading:
How do we create community and connection? Let’s hear your ideas.
New from the Blogs
Third Places Also Need to Be Safe
I think this is interesting. Of course, access to a park or walkable neighborhoods would lead to better mental health outcomes. At least that is what we'd expect. But for some young people, when that park or neighborhood isn't safe, it might turn into yet another place to be hyperalert and anxious about.
Sharing - The Psychology of Feeling Heard
Maybe the most interesting aspect of meeting survivors is how many ways this happened to all of us. I've yet to meet a survivor who has said that they tell people about their trauma and are always believed, taken seriously, and encouraged to continue telling their story. It's not that they don't occasionally hear that from an individual, but it is always the exception instead of the rule.
Quote about stigma at two levels
The world is not, has never been, and will never be fair. Suggesting that anyone deserved illness or abuse because bad things happen to bad people is naïve. It’s a childish lie we coddle ourselves with, with no basis in reality. Survivors deserve better support than that.
Sharing - Survey reveals rapid adoption of AI tools in mental health care despite safety concerns.
I work with AI professionally. I use it to get things done and to support research, but I never trust or depend on it. It’s a tool. For mental health, it can also be a tool, and I’m sure many of you are finding it helpful. I would caution all of us to be careful, though. Mental health professionals have serious reservations; I would keep them in mind.
Sharing - The Monsters in The Machine
Jeffrey Epstein was making people a lot of money and connecting them to power and influence. Surely whatever might have been happening was secondary to that, no?
That’s why we see more concern for the “friends” who might be hurt by being connected to Epstein than we see for the victims. They aren’t rich and powerful. They don’t matter. They should get over it and put it behind them.
Shared from Elsewhere
Have you admired any art lately?
Simply Viewing Art Can Improve Mental Well-Being, Major Psychological Review Finds
Photography included - Want better mental health in 2026? Look at more photos...
Here’s a head start from my own photo blog - Best of 2025
It turns out that our brain doesn’t recall our mistakes; it relives them again in real time. - Study reveals why it’s such a struggle to forgive ourselves
Related - How to Forgive Yourself | Learn to Overcome Past Mistakes
Choosing between rent, food, and mental healthcare for your child? - Study reveals significant financial strain on families seeking mental healthcare
This is an honest conversation that needs to happen:
Every time a tragedy makes the news, we hear the same refrain: “We need better mental health care.” The calls are loud, urgent, and unanimous. Yet when a mental health hospital or treatment center is proposed in a county or neighborhood, the response often changes to fear, resistance, and rejection.
“No one wants that here.”
This contradiction deserves honest reflection.
Never underestimate The Power of Small Wins
Making a Difference:
After brother’s suicide, Blackfeet sisters are creating a horse-based alternative to talk therapy
‘Stamp Out Suicide’: How a Utah man is using a newspaper to save lives
From the Archives
Quick Thought Number 6 – The Perfect is the Enemy of Showing Up
Our fear of being less than perfect isn’t protecting our friends from our imperfections; it’s depriving them of the connections they so desperately need at this time.
It's time to put the truth first, and our agendas second. If the truth is on our side, and in the case of child abuse, I firmly believe that it is, then we have no business peddling falsehoods. If your agenda can't withstand the truth, maybe it's time to rethink it.
Why I Don’t Tell People I’m Struggling Either
So please, if someone comes to you and says how much they are struggling right now, don’t point out how much everyone else is, or that others have it worse. Simply nod and say you understand, maybe offer a hug or some virtual thoughts, and be there.
Thanks for reading. If you find this newsletter informative and helpful, please share it with others. That’s the best way to express gratitude for my weekly efforts.
Thank you. I've been trying to process and write a post for this week. I'm struggling. If I can get something written, would it be alright, if I mention a few of your observations? And especially insights into community and tribalism? Of course, I'll link back to this and give you full credit. Thank you again.